ALIVE - R. BOWEN

twelve

"Ricky?"

Now it was Ricky's turn to feel like a deer caught in the headlights. "Uh, hey Nini. I can go if you want me to." He said, not wanting to make her feel awkward.

Nini shook her head, "No, it's alright, I think we should talk."

I think we should talk fuck, what could that mean? Ricky didn't want to know, he stayed in place. "Okay." was all he could muster.

"You can come up on stage with me." Nini invited, and Ricky was wary, scared that E.J. was going to jump out from behind one of the curtains.

He wasn't sure why this felt like a setup, and he didn't think Nini would do something like that, but he still had a sinking feeling that something wasn't right here. Maybe it was the fact that Nini was being so chill, or maybe it was the fact that he wanted something to go wrong, so that someone else could be to blame.

But as Ricky slowly approached the stage none of that appeared to be true. He wasn't sure how close to get to Nini. So he stayed on one side of the piano and she on the other.

"That was... um, a cool song you were singing." He admitted, his plans sweating.

Nini blushed, "Oh, well Ashlyn wrote most of it, I'm just helping with the verses."

"Cool." Ricky replied, but he was anything but cool. The air between them was thick with silence, Ricky was unsure if he should break the tension or if she planned on it.

After all, she was the one that asked him to come on the stage so they could talk.

But she never would've done that if Ricky had kissed her out of nowhere.

So yeah, Ricky was going to have to be the one to break the tension.

"Listen, I am genuinely sorry about kissing you. I don't know what came over me I-" Ricky started rambling, but stopped when he noticed that Nini was crying. "Shit." He muttered to himself and moved closer to comfort her, but the slight shift of her shoulder away from him, whether it was reflex or not, was telling him that he was going too far. "I am so sorry Nini... I never thought that kissing you would upset you this much. I just... I'll leave you alone." And even though he didn't want to, he turned around but before he could even take a step, she stopped him.

"Ricky stop." She said, and he turned around faster than the speed of light, "I'm not crying because you kissing me made me uncomfortable, I'm crying because I liked it."

Ricky's throat went dry and once again, he was at a loss for words. "You like- you liked it?" he clarified, he somehow kept his composure, but his stomach was doing flips.

She nodded, bringing her hands to her face, but she wasn't crying anymore. "God what am I tell E.J." she whispered into her hands, and Ricky's heart sunk to the floor, of course she was thinking abut him.

"Nini I-" Ricky started to say, but once again, he felt himself at a loss for words. "It was wrong of me to think I could come between you and E.J." He simply said. He wasn't going to apologize for something he wasn't sorry for, but he did feel bad for hurting Nini and in turn hurting E.J.

But of course, that was the only thing he was good at, hurting other people.

Nini wiped her nose with the back of the hand. "You're right, but it was more wrong of me to let you come between us." she frowned.

Ricky wished, and only for a short moment, that he had never kissed Nini, because then she wouldn't be crying. He tried to think of something to say, but was coming up short. "Please don't blame yourself for this, Nini." Ricky started, "This is actually all my fault."

Taking responsibility, sort of a new concept for Ricky.

Nini just shook her head, not making eye contact with him. "It's not all your fault. I wanted to kiss you too, ever since that party."

In that moment, Ricky thanked the heavens that he was able to keep composure during moments like these where he would normally be freaking out.

So I wasn't imagining it, she wanted me all along! His heart raced with anticipation, but all he could choke out was "oh."

Nini's face went hot and she stood up abruptly, startling Ricky and herself. "You know what, this conversation just became really overwhelming, I'll, um, I will text you and we can finish this another day." She stuttered.

"Yeah, o-okay." Ricky agreed. Nini gave him a single nod before heading out, her knuckles turning white from how hard she was gripping her backpack strap.

Ricky just watched her walk through the aisle and out the door, her head down. He was standing there wondering what he could've possibly said that turned the conversation so fast.

He wasn't sure, but he felt relieved in knowing that this conversation wasn't over.

☆彡

Principal Guiterrez shuffled through papers in his desk, a frantic knock coming from his office door caused him to look up and make eye contact with his secretary, the two shrugging as she frantically looked through her calendar to see if he had any appoiments. She came up empty handed.

The knock came again.

The principal rolled his eyes, "Just let the kid in."

Ricky burst through the door, tripping over his feet.

"Ah Mr. Bowen, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Principal Guiterrez asked skeptical. "I sure hope you didn't get sent down here because of misconduct." He said, almost mockingly, and Ricky almost burst into a little fire ball of anger, but he didn't, he kept his composure.

"No, actually, I wanted to tell you that I'm in." Ricky replied.

"In?"

"I'll do it," he agreed, hesitation clear in his tone, he closed his eyes, "I'll join the school musical."

Why was Ricky joining the musical, even he himself couldn't, or rather, wouldn't answer that question just yet. But it most definitely had something to do with getting closer to Nini. After their conversation this morning he knew he needed to take action. Even if it meant doing something he hated.

Principal Guiterrez lit up, "Oh, well, I will... let Miss Jenn know. I'll have her get in contact with you." His voice and inflection making it clear that he was certainly shocked and at a loss for words. "I'm glad you came to this decision."

Ricky nodded once, unsure of what to say, and turned around to head out, just as Nini had done earlier that day.

Ricky Bowen, joining the musical... huh.

a/n (pls read!)

hey besties... sorry this is a kinda short one. So basically my last month has been super busy and I've recently picked up a second job and I'm having trouble balancing my hours (sleeping, eating, etc.) and I'm just really worn out by the end of the day. I know I'm awful at updating this book but I felt like you deserved something, even if it's this. I mostly have this book planned out I just have trouble actually putting it all into words. I appreciate all the love and support tho, and if you're feeling like you need and extra little rini fix, the first chapter of my book "rumors" is up now. it is way shorter than this book and also won't be getting updated as frequently (as this book is my first priority!), and same with "she's not afraid" which is my portwell book! anyways hope you guys are liking the new season so far and let me know in the comments your thoughts so far if you feel so inclined,

oh yeah, and I wanna hear all your thoughts about sour too!!

-liv <3