𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐧. [𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐮]

14 | apprehensive

seungjin ~ 

i raced to the front door way and waited till heeseung walked out of view till i could no longer see him down the corridor. 

i screamed. what in the literal fuck just happened... 

i have a boyfriend?? that's insane. i try to play out what just happened in my mind just seconds ago. 

no. i cannot be daydreaming about this. it seems all too pretentious like a scene straight out of a kdrama. 

apart of me is actually terrified at the same time because what in the world does this boy see in me? what if i don't live up to his expectations as a good partner? i'm still navigating my own path in my own life after all. 

asides from our dozens of short, abrupt encounters, it's hard for me to grasp this idea of a romantic relationship. but all my worries aside, i hope this new found status never changes the friendly-natured dynamic between us. 

(later, the same evening)

"HE WHAT?! and YOU SAID THAT?!" 

i sighed and hurled myself on hye-in's bed, faceplanted feeling miserable. 

"sis, why would you even have to think that over?! he clearly likes you and i KNOW you do too. stop getting cold feet about this. you guys are meant be with one another i just know ittt." hye-in spoke fast. 

i don't think i'll get out of this one okay. she is determined to see us dating.  

i just can't afford to have my heartbroken again. i fell down some dark paths during my time in ballet school. i can't mess this up and i can't have a foolish relationship jeopardizing my dream to be on stage again. 

so yeah, i guess i've agreed to date him but i'll have to be guarded. if he can manage to break down all these walls i've put up over the years, maybe he's worth it. only time will tell and that trust will continue to be earned. 

HIIII GUYSSSS IT'S BEEN SO LONG!! i've been going through some rough personal issues lately and have started working full time in these summer months. i apologize for the delays! i'm officially off for the summer, so i should be able to make more up

i am someone who cannot look back at her work too often so after a few chapters here or there, i'll write & upload them and then dip for a long time before coming back. this is so i can come back with newer & fresh ideas for my story! i recently lost my entire google doc plan for this story so there were a few important scenes i had written down and made sure to leave in there for referring later on. but ITS GONEEEE   \ (TOT) /

i still rmbr everything off by heart so its all inside my head so i'll still be improvising here & there

~ nat