Linger - Wesley Tucker

Tears

(Y/n):
I woke up out of nowhere, it was a Thursday morning but I wasn't going to college, not anymore.
I got out of bed, took a shower, brushed my teeth, cleaned my room, got dressed, put some clothes away and the basic routine.
I went downstairs and the smell of pancakes filled me with joy, my mom was making raspberry pancakes, I could tell.

Mom: Hey sweetie! Good morning! You're up early, you could sleep more, you know?
Y/n: Morning mom, I'm aware, but I'm not tired.

(Y/n):
My sleep schedule is something I adapted to quickly, so extra sleep wasn't necessary, my mom knows I'm a morning person, so it was weird that she asked that question, maybe she doesn't want me here?

Mom: As you can see I'm making pancakes, why don't you go inside and I'll let you know when they are ready?
Y/n: Sure, thanks

(Y/n):
I rushed upstairs when I heard my dad's footsteps coming from the living room, I didn't even want to see him, that son of a bitch, I just want to be as far away from him as possible.
I noticed that breakfast was ready when I heard utensils clanging and dishes being set, but my mom didn't call me, she was eating with my dad, I could hear them talking and for me, it was a relief, I wasn't planning on acting like nothing happened, so I'm glad my mom didn't force me to make contact with my dad that soon, even if it was just sitting down in the same table as him.
After 15 minutes, my mom yelled at me to come eat.
I love my mom's food so I was really excited about her meals.

Mom: Hey, sorry, did I wake you?
Y/n: No, mom, I was already up, remember?
Mom: Really? I haven't seen you all morning!
Y/n: Hey! You made pancakes!

(Y/n):
My mom was losing her mind but I didn't want to mention it, she was going through a lot and even if she doesn't remember seeing me this morning, I didn't think much of it, maybe she is just tired, but right now I just want to enjoy some food.
I was starving, I took a bite, and suddenly, lost my appetite, but I forced myself to eat, I didn't want to worsen the situation, I knew I was not okay, and it was affecting me physically.

I ate all my pancakes, complimented her cooking and thanked her. Then, I went back to my room, to cry.
I finally reacted, I was hurt, letting tears out made me feel so much better. I was sobbing, in the middle of a mental breakdown, I felt like shit, I didn't want to face reality.
*Phone ringtone*

My best friend was calling me, as soon as I saw his name pop up, I answered.

Y/n: Hey Carter
Carter: Hey Y/n! I'm in science class, where are you? This is the only class we have together today.
Y/n: I'm actually at home.
Carter: Oh, are you sick or something?
Y/n: You'll know soon enough, but for now, I just want to be left alone, please, I aprecciate your concern Carter, but it's a lot more complicated than you think.
Carter: I understand, I was just worried because you never miss college.
Y/n: Yeah, my absence is rare.
Carter: Yeah... well, Y/n, I hope things go well, I'm always here if you need me.
Y/n: Thanks Carter.
Carter: My pleasure, bye bye.
Y/n: Bye!
*call ends*

(Y/n):
Poor Carter, we've been bestfriends for 14 years and I didn't tell him about the situation, he was probably very worried, but I knew that things would go downhill and the word would spread, so I was hoping that I'd be gone by then, I wouldn't want people talking about me while I was in town.
I checked Instagram to see what was happening around the world.

The first thing on my feed was Wes, I smiled to his posts, he's grown so much since Pressplay and I've always wanted to meet him, maybe one day I will.
1 hour flew by, I guess I was pretty entertained by instagram, or avoiding reality, either way, I decided to go see what my mom was up to.
I went to her room and saw her crying, she didn't see me, so I spoke up.

Y/n: Mom, is everything okay?

(Y/n):
Mom wiped the tears off her face immediately, she was ashamed.

Mom: Yes! Everything is okay!
Y/n: Mom, I want you to be honest with me, please.
Mom: I'm sorry, sit down.