tw//mention of suicidal thoughts
cw//cinnamon toast crunch, granulated sugar, and sour patch kids in a bowl (and a child's mouth); implied gay mfs
(y/n pov)
~~~
living with two semi-suicidal monster hunters, a semi-suicidal very gay angel, and an insanely powerful toddler (who looks to be the age of a teenager) sounds a lot more difficult than it actually is.
~~~
"jack, spit it out," i tell the boy sternly. he opens his mouth, letting the sugary cereal mixed with granulated sugar and sour patch kids fall back into his bowl.
"morning y/n, morning jack," dean greets, grinning as he grabs the cereal box off the table.
"do you know what jack was just eating, dean?" i ask the oblivious hunter.
"no... why, did he have beer in his frosted flakes or something?" he chuckles.
"this isn't funny, dean. he was eating cinnamon toast crunch topped with a mountain of granulated sugar and sour patch kids, for some insane reason."
"oh?" he responds, nodding very sporadically.
"did you have something to do with this, dean?"
"no . . . . . .
okay, yes. but in my defense-"
"shut it."
"but-"
"but nothing. finish your cereal and go to your room."
"you're not my dad."
"oh, thank you! now finish your cereal and go to your room.
jack, get that disgusting concoction out of your mouth."
"what disgusting concoction?" cas asks, scaring me half to death.
"cas-" i begin, before breathing deeply and correcting my posture. "your husband convinced jack that it was a good idea to take cinnamon toast crunch, pile granulated sugar on top, and add some sour patch kids. and eat it."
"i never said it was a good idea. he told me he wanted to know what a cavity felt like, so i was simply helping him speed up the process."
"that's even worse!" cas shouts.
"what's going on?" sam asks tiredly, walking into the kitchen. "what'd i miss?"
"dean was helping jack get a cavity," i explain quickly.
"well, it sounds bad when you put it that way."
"it sounds bad when anyone puts it any way, dean."
"how exactly do you help someone get a cavity?" sam butts in.
"just look in jack's bowl," i sigh, tired of explaining things.
"what- oh my god. who even gave him access to the sour patch kids?"
"can i say something?" jack asks.
"no," we all respond in unison, immediately continuing to bicker.
"no but he-"
"you never listen-"
we talk over each other for twenty minutes, getting louder and louder until it's basically just a contest to see how loud we can talk and still be comprehensible.
"will you just listen to me?!" jack shouts, catching the attention of everyone in the room. it's dead silent for a moment before i speak up.
"okay. we will," i nod and sit across from him, hoping to be a little softer than i just was.
"thank you. i just wanted to say that i have learned my lesson and i will not try to get a cavity again. i'm sorry."
"it's okay kiddo, you're just curious. but for the record, cavities hurt like a bitch."
"oh."
