The Legend of BillDip

Dont touch that Dial

Dipper and Bill are lying in their beds, asleep. A loud thud wakes Dipper up and he gasps. "What was that?" He asks.. no one.

He turns a lamp on telepathically, then turns it back off.

Another thud prompts him to turn it on a second time, then off again. Bill removes his facemask. "Love?" Dipper doesn't look to him "Yes, dear?"

"Are you using your powers to turn on the light?" Dipper face still laced with fear nods. "Yes, dear."

Bill sighs, "Allow me, sweetheart." He stands up and turns the light on. He walks over to a window and pulls back the curtains to look around.

"What do you see?" Dipper asks, only to get the response he did not think he would get. "Only your lovely rose bushes." Bill says, still looking. "That's all? Are you using your night vision, Bill?" Dipper asks again.

"I assure you, my love, I see nothing amiss. You have absolutely no reason to be frightened..." Bill assures Dipper, Turing around to face him before he gets interrupted.

There's a third loud thud. Bill yelps and runs back to his bed and hides under the covers. Dipper raises an eyebrow and looks directly at him "You were saying?"

Ignoring Dipper's sassy remark, getting up to sit on his bed. He says, "Actually, I did overhear a couple of lads at work remarking on a few unsavory characters settling in the neighborhood."

"Now, who knows what those ne'er-do-wells might be up to? Robbing houses, vandalizing property."

Dippers looks at him dead in the eye. "Walking through walls, moving objects without touching them." He says.

"Dipper, darling, you can't be suggesting my colleagues were referring to us." Bill only looking back at Dipper.

There's another thud. Dipper moves their beds together. "One of us should really determine the source of that sound." Bill says hiding his mouth and nose under his cover, his upper head and eyes being the only thing you see.

"Yes, one of us should." Dipper says sternly. Looking at Bill as if referring he should do it. There's another thud and they both gasp.

"Oh, this is getting ridiculous. I'm going to take a look." Dipper says, getting sick of this nonsense.

"Oh, God! Darling!" Bill says, being dramatic as always. He telepathically swings the curtains open to reveal a branch hitting the panes.

"Well, I think we handled that well." Dipper says, crossing his arms, smiling.

"Yes, I must say I'm rather proud of myself. And look how you seized on the opportunity to redecorate." Bill says, looking at the two beds now together. "This is better, isn't it?" Dipper asks, also looking at the two beds.

Bill only hums agreement. Dipper uses his powers to turn the two adjacent beds into one wide bed. "Dipper , darling?" Bill says, looking at Dipper. "Yes, dear?" Dipper responds. "Get the light."

They get under the covers together and Dipper turns off the light.
                                       ———
Bill is in a magician's getup in the living room. "Ladies and gentlemen!" He announces "For my final trick, I bring you the Cabinet of Mysteries!" He waves his wand. Nothing happens. "Darling, that's your cue." Bill says.

"Did you say, "Cabinet of Mysteries?" Dipper asks, still hiding. "I said, "The Cabinet of Mysteries!" Bill confirms. He waves his wand again.

This time, Dipper wheels out a large cabinet. "Oh, that's my cue. Ooh!" Dipper says.

"Holy Toledo! Darling, do all the other acts in the talent show have such elaborate props?" Bill asks, looking at the cabinet with wide eyes.

"Are you kidding? Fred and Linda are building a moat and a fully-functioning portcullis and no one even knows why. Let's keep going." Dipper says.