The Legend of BillDip

On a very Special Chapter

Cut to an establishing shot of Dipper and Bill's house.

Cut Inside, where Dipper paces with Dominic, half of his hair tied up in a scrunchie. "Please, Dominic, don't you wanna sleep?" He asks desperately.

"Papa wants to sleep... If you go to sleep, I promise, you will be my favorite twin!" Bill walks down the stairs, carrying a wailing William and Stella.

"Come on now, pinetree, you know we love them both equally."

"Don't tell him that! No luck with William... or Stella?" He sighs. "Tried reading to them, but for some reason, Charles Darwin's "The Descent of Man" made them cry even harder."

Bill steps towards Dipper. "Oh. Care to dance, PT?" Each bobbing with a baby, thеy step close togethеr. "It's almost like we're on a date!" Dipper giggles.

"Mm. Keep it down, lads, I was about to get my leg over." Bill chuckles. "Bill?" He hums in response, "Would you mind grabbing their binkies?" Bill smiles "Oh, 'course not. Binkies all 'round, I think."

They lay the triplets in their cribs, then Bill heads to the kitchen.

Dipper eyes the twins desperately. "Now, I know parents aren't supposed to take shortcuts, but I think this situation calls for one, don't you?"

All three of the triplets cry louder. "So, go to sleep, my babies!" He uses his powers on them. It doesn't work.

"And... go to sleep!" He tries again. They giggle.

"Well, I don't think it's very funny! Why won't you do what I want?" He questions, putting his hands on his hips.

"What was that, pinetree?" Bill returns with the binkies on either side of his head. "That is not where those go!"

Dipper pulls them out. "The noise cancelation is not their primary function?" Bill tilts his head. Wiping off the binkies, he places them in the infants' mouths. "Look, I think it's work--"

The babies spit the binkies out synchronously, one hitting Bill in the chest. "Bill?" Dipper whispers, as Bill hums to let him know he's listening. "What are we doing wrong?"

"Oh, don't worry, Pinetree! We'll figure it out. Perhaps we all need more time to get to know one another." He assures him.

"Maybe. Or maybe we just need some help." The doorbell rings.

"Oh--!" Veronica walks in. "Hiya, kids!" She exclaims. Dipper smiles at her "Oh, Veronica!"

Bill covers his face as he switches to human form. "Veronica! I was just fluffing this pillow! With my... face."

"Oh, I was just on my way to Jazzercise when I heard your new little bundles of joy were on a sleep strike." She smiles wider.

"Oh? Who told you that?" Bill raises a brow. "Uh, my ears." She chuckles and Bill hesitantly does so as well.

"Anyway, Auntie Veronica is here and I've got a couple of tricks up my sleeve." She smirks. "Oh, Veronica, you're a lifesaver!"

"Aw." Bill opens his mouth then closes it repeatedly making him look like a fish.

Then he finally says something "Very well, but- But be careful of their belly buttons, and remember to support their heads, and when was the last time you washed your ha—"

"Actually, you know what? It would-- Just-- Maybe we better not!" Veronica's smile fades and she shifts her weight uncertainly.

The babies' crying settles down. "Um..." She turns to Dipper. The crying has stopped. "Uh... Do you want me to take that again?"