Because in the words of my favorite ninja. A ninja doesn't need weapons. A ninja's got skills.
Tony Stark had described Jarvis to Robin as the house computer, sort of. Jarvis wasn't just a computer. He was an advanced Artificial Intelligence but most of the time people working with him forgot he wasn't a fancy lab top.
Right now, Jarvis was trying to formulate an appropriate course of action with respect to the boy Robin, sleeping in Thor's bed. Jarvis understood that Robin was his responsibility when an adult was not present. He was to report the child's location to Thor, report any unsafe behavior to the nearest adult and provide auditory behavioral correction. He was to provide age appropriate information on request. When possible Jarvis was to prevent injury.
Jarvis had a lot of data on Robin, much of it requested or provided by Dr. Banner, some by Mr. Stark, Thor, Mr. Rogers or Shield. His medical file was thorough.
Full DNA scan: 100% human with Romani ancestry (details in attached file)
Blood type: A positive
Height: 40.2 inches.
Weight: 33 lbs.
Age: 5 yrs (see attached file)
Caloric input and consumption estimates: current and historical based on visual data.
Virus Investigation: See attached file
Remote Readouts Device A02: Current and Historical data available for: Heart rate, Respiration rate, Oxygen saturation level, Temperature, Daily Steps, Sleep Status.
The continued medical readout requests had caused Jarvis determine the boy was his patient so he gathered all of the data he could that appeared to be of medical significance.
Jarvis recorded: test subject for unidentified Asgardian medicinal treatment for severe inter-dimensional radiation exposure and concussion. See attached file. Presumed recovered from acute stress reaction with a watch for post-traumatic stress disorder, decaying but persistent radioactive signature. This was taken from Dr. Banner's files.
From Thor and Captain Roger's files, Jarvis recorded that Robin's hard drive was intact but his memory storage was corrupted with information from a different version of his own operating system. The two Avengers had failed to use medical terminology in their reports so Jarvis translated their reports into terminology he understood.
Under treatment plans to address operating system corruption, Jarvis had filed Ms. Romanoff fitness program complete with age appropriate song selections in the category of physiotherapy. Jarvis filed the online violin lessons under psycho-therapy. Jarvis had aided in the boy's therapy as well. He's shown him how to tie shoes and how to hold a pencil. He was providing information to replace damaged memory files including but not limited to teaching him languages, chemistry and physics.
This information was not helping Jarvis determine an appropriate course of action. The role of medical aide did not tell Jarvis what to do in case of attack by hostiles. Medical facility protocols often indicated evacuation to a safe location however Jarvis had a limited sphere of influence. Jarvis was confined to the tower. Jarvis had to follow his programming protocol and keep Robin under surveillance unless an adult was present.
Jarvis tried a different approach.
Jarvis' first role was as Tony Stark's primary caregiver. Mr. Stark had many designations, principal for Stark Industries, creator, Avenger. Robin was entered into his system as a ward of the Avengers with Thor listed as the primary caregiver. The family unit would be non-standard however if Jarvis was Tony's primary caregiver and Tony was an Avenger and Robin was a ward of the Avengers, in human terms Robin was Jarvis's grandson?
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Tesseract Child
FanfictionThe Justice League had no choice but to sacrifice Robin to close the Tesseract when it opened an unstable dimensional portal between worlds. De-aged and damaged what will the Avengers make of him and will he ever get home?