So lets cross the lines we lost

Chapter 4

"Louis."

...

"Louis."

"Mm?"

"Hey," Zayn crouches down beside Louis' bed, pulling the covers from his face. "You okay?"

"Mm." Louis groans again and attempts to readjust his duvet back over his eyes. Zayn doesn't let him, just settles his gaze on Louis' face, his dark eyes riddled with concern.

"No you're not. You're upset, and you won't tell me why." Zayn frowns, a sad undertone to his voice. Louis stares at his piercing gaze, his lips slightly arched downwards. He worries too much sometimes, it isn't a bad trait, but it does cause Louis to make another disgruntled noise and press his face into his pillow.

Zayn flattens a hand on Louis' back. "I'll buy you breakfast, yeah? We'll go for a walk."

Louis sniffs and returns his gaze to Zayn. "Yeah, whatever. No cheap shit though, if you're buying, we're going all out."

Zayn snorts. "You're a pain when you're moody. But fine, c'mon then."

Louis gets out of bed and checks the time. It's only eight in the morning. Even without the party last night, Louis would still be surprised to see Zayn up this early. He wonders if he slept at all.

They walk down to a café through the park behind their house, the breeze picks up as they walk and Louis tugs his sweater sleeves over his hands until they're inside. Zayn gets them a stack of pancakes and Louis' favourite tea. He then proceeds to stir his coffee idly while peering not-so-subtly over at Louis across the table.

"Jay's getting married," Louis finally says.

Zayn lets out a sigh. "Thought it was something like that."

Louis nods, feeling his chest tighten. "I just can't handle it sometimes, I mean, she could barely commit to looking after us when dad left, how will this guy be any different to the ones she dated back then? Or to dad? I don't want the girls to get attached to someone new just for him to leave again."

Zayn nods slowly, letting him continue.

Louis sighs, long suffering, and rubs his hands over his face. "She just... she makes me crazy and she said all of these things and I just–"

"What did she say?"

Louis looks away.

"Louis..."

"She just knows what gets to me. I'm so fucking tired of it." He sighs. The knot grows tighter in his chest.

Zayn draws a deep breath. "I know she does," he pauses. Louis can feel the air change, he knows what he's going to say. "If you maybe just went and had a proper conversation with her–"

"I can't do that, Zayn. It wouldn't be a good idea for either of us, I'm not ready." He can feel the works sink way, way down to the craters forming in the pit of his stomach. "It won't be better. I'm not any better."

"You are though, we have better friends now and you're doing really well at Uni." There's an odd soft tone to Zayn's voice. He doesn't hear it often. He doesn't think he wants to hear it now.

"Yeah. Well, I'm not sure if it's worth the risk."

His chest is aching, and he looks out the window towards the park, pink trees shifting in the wind, swirls of colour, kids going to school. So much life. It's all so fucking weird.

He chuckles softly, it isn't real though, it's jagged and strange and Zayn's expression stays the same. "I really loved it, y'know? Football, living close to family, everything. I thought that was going to be it. I mean, I could picture her at my games."