So lets cross the lines we lost

Chapter 16

Zayn wakes up to a medley of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and Rihanna's Rude Boy coming from Niall's sound system. An average day, then. 

He squints one eye open. The room is still dark and he's hoping it's because he slept through an entire day, though by the way he feels he's fairly certain that's not the case. He feels over the bedside table, knocking into Niall's broken lamp and a few loose guitar picks till he finds his phone. 03:30 AM.  

He groans, rolling over and scrubbing a hand over his face. "Ni, seriously," 

Niall is sitting up against the headboard with his laptop open, the glow of the screen causing Zayn momentary blindness. "Oh, sorry," Niall says, turning down the volume of his music. "Did I wake you up?" 

Zayn stares at him blankly. "You know me, ever the early riser." 

"Sorry, I woke up a few hours ago and couldn't get back to sleep." 

Zayn sits up a little. "Everything alright?" 

Niall nods slowly, tapping away at his keyboard. "Peachy." 

"Hey," Zayn rests a hand on Niall's knee. "You okay?" 

"Yeah. Chill out." 

"'kay then," Zayn says, unconvinced but far too tired to deal with it  as of yet. "I'm gonna go use the bathroom. Now that I'm, you know, awake and everything." 

"Have fun with that." 

Zayn slips out from under the covers and pads down the hall to the main bathroom. There's a sliver of light peaking out from where the door is slightly ajar. He stops just outside, about to turn around when he hears something that sounds a lot like a sniffle.  

Zayn freezes in his tracks.  

"I don't––I don't know how to tell him," Harry's voice, unmistakably. Zayn carefully steps closer to the gap in the door. "I feel like I don't even know what I want anymore Gems, he just––he makes it so easy to forget about everything else."

Wait – wait. Oh God, this is really not a conversation Zayn should be overhearing. But he doesn't feel like he can leave.

"I know, I know it's such an amazing opportunity, and so close to you guys," Harry sounds like he's trying really hard to keep his voice steady. "But he's not just anything, is he? And if I... if I tell him, I'm scared of what he'll say, what if he wants to break up?"

Fuck, Zayn needs to go. He really, really needs to go.

"No, no of course I don't want that. God, I love him, so much, and I don't want him to think that I don't – yeah. Yeah I know." Harry sighs, Zayn holds his breath. "This is just, it's so opposite to everything I've been telling him, reassuring him, y'know? He's going to hate me."

Fuck.

"I will, I'll talk to him. I promise. I just need the right time. He's got exams all week and I don't want him to worry – yeah, I know." There's a pause, and Zayn leans in closer against the wall to make sure he's still on the phone and doesn't get caught like this. Then Harry huffs a worn out laugh. "Yeah, I will. I should get back to bed, thanks for putting up with me. Love you Gems. Talk to you later."

Zayn snaps back into gear, he pulls away from the wall, carefully and quietly hurrying back into Niall's room. He gently closes the door behind and lets out a shuddery breath as he does.  

What the actual fuck. 

He wishes he could say it explains a lot but he's still so confused. The only thing floating around in his head is that maybe Harry wants to move back home with his mother. But the timing seems a little weird, and why wouldn't he say anything to Louis? It doesn't make sense, but he's officially boycotting his friendship with Harry until he knows more about this.