I'm Fine

Chapter 6

~ inside the BAU, they have been there for an hour now ~

Jj's Pov:

It's been an hour and I've only finished filing one case. God this is gonna take forever. I get up to stretch my legs and grab another cup of coffee. I walk over to the counter and grab a coffee cup.

Suddenly, I feel someone, I'm assuming Penelope , hugging me from behind. I turn around and yup it's Penelope, literally the sweetest person I've ever met.

"Hi Jj! Sorry I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to say hi! And would you and Emily want to do a girls night tonight?! I have vodka and cranberry juice!" Penelope says while doing jazz hands at the end of her sentence.

"Sure. I don't see why not! Yay girls night!" I say lightly grabbing her left arm. A random urge to tell Penelope what Emily said last night overcomes me, "Hey Pen, can I talk to you about something? Like privately?".

"Yeah of course dolly" she says while leading me to her 'Batcave'.  "Come on we can go to my lair".

~ in Penelope's 'office' ~

I sit down across from the brightly dressed woman. She presses a couple keys on her computer and then swivels around so she is facing me.

"What's wrong my beautiful friend? All knowing Garcia is here to help." She smiled and set her fluffy pink pen on her desk so she wouldn't be distracted. That's one of the things Jj loved about Penelope, when you talk to her she gives you her full attention and tries to help in any way.

"So... I was sleeping over at Emily's like I normally do. And all of a sudden she-" I was soon by all too excited Penelope.

"Oh my god did you finally ya know with her?" She put her pointer finger through her other hand in a circle shape, and smirked.

I lightly smacked her hands so she would stop, "What?! Pen! No! What the hell?!".

"Oh wait it would more be like-" Penelope makes holds up two fingers on both hands and puts them together.

Once again I slapped her hands while we both laughed, "Pen! Stoppp!".

"So what was it then?"

"She... moaned my name while she was asleep..." I awkwardly say, thinking that Garcia would start laughing.

"Oh dear... well, do you like her? Like romantically? Or even sexually?" she smirks again but i can tell she is seriously asking the question.

"I don't know... I love her of course. But being gay is wrong.. and I'm not. I'm straight... I'm straight... I'm straight?" I look down and fiddle with my fingers, interlocking them in different ways.

Penelope puts her hands on top of mine, "Jj. It's ok if you are attracted to her". I don't reply, my mind still racing about if I'm actually attracted to Emily.

"Jj I'm pan".

I looked up at her, confused by what she had said. I've heard of pansexuality before but I never knew what it really is.

"It means I'm attracted to everyone, regardless of gender. It's like... I'm attracted to the personality, not their gender or ya know whatever is in their pants" she laughs at the end of her sentence trying to break some of the tension.

"I'm glad you felt comfortable telling me Pen" I smile at the gorgeous gleeful woman sitting across from me.

"Jj, do you get butterflies in your stomach when you're around Emily? Do you ache in every moment you are apart from her? Do you daydream about her? Do you feel like you want something more?"

"Yeah... she makes me feel so vulnerable but in a good way. Ya know?" I start to pick at my nails, a bad habit I have when I'm anxious, funny part is I developed it from Emily.

"I, Dr. Garcia, diagnose you as a bisexual. I've also prescribed you 'shoot your shot with Emily before it's too late'. You also seem to have 'internalized homophobia' but that will go away with time and self love." We both stand up and she wraps me in a hug.

A couple tears roll down my cheek, I'm not sad. Just overwhelmed. My parents engraved into my mind that being gay is a sin. I use to be extremely homophobic but once I moved away I realized that I can have my own opinions. I wish I could take back all those years of me being an insensitive asshole. But I can't. I haven't talked to my parents in years, and I'm glad about that. But a part of me still misses them, and I hate that I miss them. Anyways back to me being bisexual. I think it makes sense. How I feel about Emily... it's scary but it feels right.

"Thankyou Pen" I softly say as we end the hug.

She hands me a tissue while saying, "Of course blonde beauty". I wipe my tears and head back to my desk.

But to my surprise Emily is leaning against it. "Darling are you ok?" She says while I approach my desk.

"Yeah! I'm all good. By the way Penelope decided tonight is a girls night" I say while leaning against the desk next to Emily. I put my hand on top of hers, but this time subtly. Emily notices and looks down, her face starts to turn a rosy pink.

"Can't wait!" She says in a chipper tone while walking away, clearly embarrassed by how she blushed.

~ around 7 pm ~
^ Penelope convinced Jj and Emily to go to a club with her. They've been there for half an hour ^

Emily's Pov:

"Come on! It's just one shot. I thought Emily Prentiss was up for anything" Penelope says while handing me a small shot glass filled with vodka.

"God, fine" I groan. I grab the small glass and pour it in my mouth, swallowing it as quickly as I can. I hate vodka. It burns my throat so much. But I might as well get drunk, nothing better to do. Jj places her shot glass down and quickly grabs another, throwing it back like it was nothing, Penelope doing the same.

Penelope grabs her clutch and says, "There's a cute girl over there, I'll be right back". She walks away with a quick pace over to a ginger woman sitting at the bar.

A tall brown haired man walks up to us, just by a glance I could tell he was a narcissist. I hate men.

"Hey ladies. You both look quite lonely, would you like me to join you? He says placing his beer bottle on the table.

I glance over to Jj trying to convey that this guy is a douchebag. She shakes her head slightly and looks back over to the man. "Yeah it's alright" she smiles.

I stood next to them for about five minutes listening to their disgusting flirting, eventually I couldn't take it. "Hey Jay I'm gonna go call a cab, you wanna come with?" I hoped she would say yes, even though I'm an FBI agent I still hate riding in cabs alone.

"No I'm good. Chris said he can give me a ride home" she says while smiling.

I sigh and reply, "alright. Be safe Jj. And Penelope texted me she left with someone an hour ago. Night Jay". I walk away feeling defeated, I know I should be happy for Jj finding someone to hook up with but I... I don't know.. I just think she could so so much better.

The cab arrives five minutes later. I hop in and tell the driver where to drop me off. About three minutes into the ride a weird smoke starts to spray into the back of the cab.

I start to panic,"Um.. excuse me? Sir? There's smoke back here! Sir th-". Everything goes black.