I'm Fine

Chapter 11

Jj's alarm obnoxiously beeps over and over again. Lazily, she slaps it and rolls out of bed. Will is still asleep, his arm hanging off the side of the bed. They used to cuddle eachother to sleep, but recently Jj can't stand his touch. It's rough and feels threatening.

Jj slips on a pair of fluffy white slippers and makes her way out to the kitchen. To her surprise, Emily is sitting at the kitchen island drinking a cup of coffee.

"Good morning Darling" Emily says in a raspy morning voice. Jj has always loved Emily's morning voice, she doesn't know why but something about it just automatically makes her horny.

Jj sleepily waves, "Hey Em". She begins to make a cup of coffee, making sure to grab her favorite mug that has a selfie of her and Emily goofing around on it.

"God its so cold" Jj says while cupping the coffee cup with two hands. She sits down across from the brunette, her eyes wandering all around Emily's body. Her dark brown hair messily rested on her shoulders, her baggy red shirt fell just right while her black zip up jacket hung open.

"Here" Emily said while standing up and taking off her jacket laying it over the blondes shoulders.

Jj smiles, the scent of Emily cologne fills her nose. Its a light smell, not one that hangs in the air but rather has a dominant smell that is peaceful. Jj slips her arms through the jacket and zips it up, enjoying the warmth from the jacket.

The two sit there in silence enjoying one another's presence while sipping there coffee. Until there interrupted by Will running into the kitchen, already dressed and ready for the day.

"Babe I gotta go. Duty calls" he says quickly before Jj has a chance to say anything he's out the front door.

-threeish hours later-

Jj and Emily sit on the couch watching a horror movie, enjoying their day off.

"Ah!" Emily screams while hugging onto Jj for dear life. She nuzzles her head into the blonde.

Jj let's out a laugh at how adorable Emily is being. Jj finds it hilarious that Emily the big badass profiler cant handle horror movies, when she's seen even worse things in real life.

Emily playfully hits Jj, "Hey don't laugh at me!".

"I'm not. I'm not. You're just being adorable right now. Anyways don't worry the movie is over" The blonde smiles, adoring everything about the brunette.

"Darling your driving me crazy" Emily smiles.

Jj smirks, "I'm glad".

The two women rest there for heads against each other with smiles wider than the Grand Canyon.

"You smell so sweet, like fresh picked daisies"   Emily whispers, laughing a little at her own sentence.

Jj giggles too, her cheeks turning a rose shade. She begins to lean it a little more, her eyes staring at Emily's red lips. 

Emily felt the urge to get "fuck this shit" and kiss the beauty. But the memory of Jj kissing and having a life with Will, keeps her from perusing this time.  She lowers her head quickly and Jj backs away.

"So-" Jj begins to say before she is quickly cut off by Emily.

"I should be going. Will is going to be home soon so I'll let you guys have some time alone".

Dammit Jj, how could you be so stupid. You tried to kiss your best friend while she's still in a heterosexual relationship. Of course she didn't want to reciprocate.

"Oh ok. Um. I'll see you tomorrow then?".

"Yeah.." the brunette replies right before shutting the front door.

- Jj Pov -

As soon as the door fully closes I burst into tears. I just let the love of my life leave thinking she is just a side piece. God if I could just tell her how much I love her. How I dream about our life we could have together. A small house, a black cat, waking up late on the weekends, date nights, and so much more.

Why did I have to crumble under the homophobic pressure of the world around me. I settled.
Like I do with everything.
I settle.