Chapters of Me

Happy

I'm happy. That's the lie I've told myself.

With a sinking feeling and a tightness in my chest

with a blank mind, I tell myself

I'm fine.

With a forced smile and a carefree laugh, I tell myself

you're a soldier; you'll be fine.

And, when I'm alone,

my mouth starts to quiver and my eyes string.

And, in my head, a quiet voice whispers.

you're not happy,

you're not okay.

You might be a soldier but,

the darkness you hide

has an army.

Yes. You might be a soldier, but

your demons are mercenaries

and, while you pretend

your darkness will kill you inside,

and, while you lie and say you're okay,

your demons shatter your mind.