Show me the stars that live in your eyes (A Maycury Story)

Chapter 10: Lavender Roses

The first thing Freddie does when he's out of his flat is go to the florist. After making a list of all the pros and cons of giving Brian a bouquet of flowers, he came to the realisation that the only downside is that maybe Brian would think him foolish. It's not like he's never been called that—never by Brian—it's just that he knows it would hurt, especially coming from Brian. But then, he decides fuck it, he wants to give Brian flowers, then he will, even if it means that he'll feel embarrassed afterwards.

He brings his basket along with him, holding it safely against him.  He goes through the rows of freesias, tulips and dahlias. He passes his hands delicately on the soft petals, inhaling the scents overwhelming his senses. He debates in his head, trying to find the perfect flowers to pick between the chrysanthemum and the dozen different types of roses. In the end, he chooses lavender roses, ten of them. He takes the flowers with petals that aren't damaged, the ones that are fully opened. He hopes Brian will be happy—he would be if he received them.

Brief anxiety washes through him when he takes money from the small amount he has. He won't have much left for anything else. Thankfully, his groceries are already bought for the week. He smiles at the young woman behind the till and walks out of the shop.

The sun is out today, yesterday's cloudy sky is finally gone and Freddie feels peaceful. He loves sunny days, the feeling of sunlight grazing against his skin, feeling the warm and humid grass under his hands. When he'd been on his own, he loved to go study or just lay down in Kensington Gardens, to observe the people around; a mother playing with her kid, a couple holding hands lovingly, an elderly man watching someone else walk their dog. It was the only time he liked being alone, that he felt like he could enjoy his own presence without the heaviness on his shoulders. He's glad he doesn't feel the crushing loneliness anymore, not since he's met Brian. Now, when he's alone in his flat, woken up in the middle of the night by noises, he can fall right back asleep, thinking of him, imagining his arms are keeping him safe.

Walking through the streets, he passes by a homeless man always sitting at this exact spot. He always tells him to have a good day—even when Freddie suspects he doesn't have such a good day himself—so Freddie takes a rose from the bouquet and gives him. He leaves him the change he'd gotten from buying the flowers and smiles at him. He knows it isn't much, but he hopes it's enough; it's the most he can afford to give.

"Have a nice day!" He exclaims; his heart flutters when the man smiles back at him, looking genuinely happy.

He continues his way to Brian's flat, excited to see him again. They hadn't been able to see each other for a few days, but they always made sure they could call each other at least one time a day. He's missed hugging him the most, falling asleep in his arms at night.

Once he's finally at Brian's front door, he hesitates. Will Brian really like getting offered flowers? Maybe it's too girly and Brian will think he's mocking him. What if he knows too what the nine lavender roses mean and he ridicules him for it? He'd never expect Brian to laugh at him, but maybe this time he will. He almost decides to throw them away, but instead he knocks on Brian's door, not giving himself any time to think anymore about his decision.

He squeezes the bouquet in his hands tightly, putting on his brightest smile—without his teeth, obviously—and waits for the door to open. When it does, he forgets about all his worries at the sight of his boyfriend, his boyfriend.

"Freddie! I didn't forget something we had planned, did I?" Brian asks, looking worried.

"No! I just decided to surprise you," Freddie explains shyly, he looks behind Brian and sees Brian's textbooks on the kitchen table. "Well, if you're not busy already, of course."