TW: Self Harm
"Do you want to end this now?"
Im afraid. Im tired. I feel like im hopeless. I keep hearing voices inside my head, She's with me every time.
"N-no not now, not yet. Let's wait a little bit more hmm?" I said while tears keep streaming down my face as i stare at my wrist.
At this moment, I can't feel any pain.
"Why? Don't you want to die? I thought you're tired of this shitty life of yours?"
"Why? If I die, will I die with no regrets? Why do you keep on asking me if I want to end my life?!" I yelled while breathing heavily.
"No regrets, I can assure you that. I mean you're nothing. Even your very own family doesn't even know about what's happening to you, You know why?" She asked.
"Why?"
I heard her giggle like she saw something funny.
"Why? You're asking me why? It's because they don't care. They treat us like a black sheep in this house. Don't act like you don't know. You're so funny." She said while laughing.
"So now, I'll ask you again, Do you want to end this now?" She asked again.
"I want to, but im afraid. I hate being alone. If I die, Im sure I'll be alone." I said.
"You're not alone. The moment you end your life, Im with you. I can accompany you." She said.
"Let's end this! Let's end this! Let's end this! Let's end this!" She added, Cheering like something is exciting.
It's as if she's manipulating my body. My hands covered in blood automatically reached for the cutter and pointed it on my neck.
I want to stop, but I feel like I can't move my own body. I tried to hold my other hand while breathing heavily. When the cutter fell from my trembling hands, agad ko iyong sinipa papalayo sa'kin.
"Stop! S-stop it! I don't want to die!" I yelled as I cried harder.
"Im offering you. I said you're not alone when you die. Come on, no one loves you anyway. It's me who only cared for you." She said.
Im scared. I hope someone can stop her.
"Get lost! I don't need you. You're making it worst!" I yelled while covering my ears.
"Making it worst? No Ashia, Im only leading you to the right path."
Right path? Is this really the right path?
"Just w-who are you?! Magpakita ka You're saying you are leading me to the right path? That it's you who only care for me? Who keeps on asking me if I want to end this life?! Who are you?!"
"I can't Ashia, But maybe if you look at the mirror, Im sure you'll see me."
My room is dark but the window curtains are open so i can still see the mirror beside me.
I see my self. No one is here except me. She's inside my head.
"Get out of my head. You've been staying inside of my head for a very long time, G-get lost." I whispered. Napahawak ako sa ulo ko habang naiiyak.
"No way. I can't because, Im you Ashia." She said.
Mabilis akong tumayo at agad na lumapit sa gilid ng kama para kunin ang cutter na sinipa ko. Malakas ko iyong hinagis sa salamin, dahilan para mabasag ito. Im scared, I'm so scared! I need help. Im tired.
"No! You're not me. You're just a voice. Im getting a professional help, I will tell them everything about you. Every word you said to me."
"Try me, Ashia. You know what will happen." She said.
The voice gradually fades, My heart beats fast and slowly my vision went black.
_____________________

YOU ARE READING
A Dance With You
Ficção AdolescenteIf dancing with you will heal me, let's dance till our last breath.