A Dance With You

Chapter 1

Hide. I'm quite good at hiding my true emotions. what I feel, what I don't like and on what I really like. I just have to, because I know there's something wrong with me.

I actually have friends. A small circle of friends. Kahit na kaibigan ko sila, I still have to hide everything personal about me. Not because I don't trust them, It's because I'm afraid na matakot sila, iwan nila ako. more or less, ikahiya nila na naging kaibigan nila ako.

"Nagawa niyo na ba yung mga assignment?"

Nag angat agad ako ng tingin dahil sa lakas ng boses ni Faxia na kakapasok palang sa loob ng classroom. She's always like that, Ever since I met her together with my two other friends. I could tell at one look that she's very vocal about everything.

When she looked at me, agad siyang tumakbo papunta sa'kin at sinalubong ako ng yakap. She looked excited to see me.

"Oh my gosh! I missed you! Tatlong araw kang absent, you didn't even bother sending us a text! What happened?" She asked me worriedly while handing me a bread. Mahilig talaga siyang bumili ng kung anu-anong pagkain bago pumasok sa school.

Nakangiti ko lang siyang tinignan. I don't know if my smile looked fake, I don't want to tell her the real reason why umabsent ako ng dalawang araw. Ayaw ko lang na isipin nila na nag dadrama ako o kung ano.

"Thanks for the bread, Fax. It's actually nothing. Just a family emergency, that's why I had to leave school for 3 days. It's all okay now, I guess?" I said. Kinagatan ko agad yung binigay niyang tinapay na mukhang sa isang japanese bakeshop niya pa nabili. Ang sarap.

"Oh—okay! I hope everything is alright. I will not ask anymore since you said na it's a family emergency. But I really missed you! Kami nila Gaijani and Kadie. I think we really can't live without each other!" She said while laughing. She's very energetic today.

Nang maubos ko yung unang tinapay na binigay niya, pinasakan niya agad ang bibig ko ng bagong tinapay but different flavor. Muntikan na akong masamid buti nalang inabutan niya ako ng tubig niya. I don't really bring my own tumbler since Fax is my water provider (she insisted. that's why I stopped bringing my own water tumbler). Hindi ako sa mismong bibig ng tumbler uminom, dahil may mini cup naman yung tumbler at doon nilalagay ni Fax yung tubig na iinumin ko.

Gulat kaming napatingin nang biglan may nag bagsak ng bag sa upuan na nasa harap namin. May sumunggab nanaman ng yakap sakin.

"What's up baby girls, the heck Fax? Kung ano-ano pinapakain mo diyan kay Ashi! Ashi, buti pumasok ka na? Akala ko na tegi ka na eh." She said while laughing. I know I shouldn't be offended, Gaijani is just born like that.

Tumawa ako at malakas siyang hinampas sa balikat. "I tried. Akala ko din eh." I said while laughing. I noticed that my three friends looked at me seriously. My heart beats fast. Nakahalata ba?

"That was just a joke! Why are you looking at me like that?" I said at malakas na tumawa. Kailangan kong takpan yung sinabi ko. I don't want them to know. Not now, maybe when it's time.

"Ang deep non, mare. Akala namin kung ano na ginawa mo sa tatlong araw na wala ka." Nababahalang saad ni Kadie na sinang-ayunan naman nila Fax.

"Girls, Im not suicidal? My life is precious, and Im mentally stable." I said. My life is precious? A little. Mentally stable? I don't think so? Suicidal? Thoughts, yes. Physically? Maybe a little? I don't know. I don't even know my self.