I was made for you

Tell it to the fire

Arizona wakes up to Sofia laughing out loud in the kitchen. She and Callie must be home already. She looks at her phone: she's definitely going to be late. Whatever, she and Herman just have to take a look at how the clinic site is coming to life and then they'll probably just have coffee and talk business. She can afford being a little late.

She's feeling so much better after a few hours sleep. She's still ashamed of her little breakdown in front of Callie, but she had just been keeping too much trapped inside and the pounding pain she felt in her leg was making her go crazy. She wears her prosthetic again to find out it doesn't hurt anymore. That puts a big smile on her face.

She notices a new set of white candles on the nightstand with a note on it that says "For mommy" in a sloppy handwriting. Sofia must have told Callie about that new habit of hers.

Arizona has picked it up since Callie left Seattle, when she was still feeling lonely and messed up and needed something to hold on to. She remembers that time very well: without Callie and Sofia close by, it seriously felt like she was walking on very unsteady ground all the time. Every place she walked by reminded her of Callie and every time she saw a kid around Sofia's age she found herself hiding wherever she could to bawl her eyes out.

That's when she made up her little candle ritual. Every night she lights up a candle for all of the things she lost and she recalls them, watching the candle burn. She thinks about Timothy, Mark, Lexie, Derek, her leg, Callie, their marriage, Sofia and their perfect little family. It helps to confine all of the sadness and the heartburn in one place, at night, when she's alone, so they don't come bother her in the daylight or in her sleep. Thanks to this, she slowly managed to come back to life and to stop crying in front of every cafe she and Callie used to go to when they were dating.

Once, when Sofia was home, she found her in the middle of her candle time and asked what that was for.

- You know how you can't sleep if you don't get your goodnight kisses from me and mama on the phone? Well, I can't sleep if I don't kiss goodnight to my brother. And to your dad. And to my mom and dad. And to your mom. And since I can't have them here for our goodnight kiss, I light up a candle and I hope they get my goodnight kiss, wherever they are. -

- Mama is not dead, mommy. You can go and kiss her whenever you want. You can call her with me tomorrow if you'd like. -

- No, sweetie, that's your own special goodnight. This is mine. Is that okay for you, honey? -

Sofia thought about it for a moment.

- Yes, mommy, it's okay. Goodnight, I love you! -

She hugged her and then left her alone with her moment and never came to interrupt it again.

That's probably why Arizona is so surprised that she remembered about it.

- Good morning, mommy. Did you like your present? -

Sofia hugs her tight.

- I love it. It was very thoughtful of you. Thank you, Sofia. - she answers to her, but she's actually looking at Callie, hoping she gets her silent gratitude. - Are you guys back already? -

- We just came to drop off some of the things we bought and Sofia wanted to change and try one of her new outfits on. Then we were planning on going to get ice cream. -

- Mama made me pick some photos for my new rooms. - Sofia shares, excited.

- Really? I can't wait to see them, they are going to look so good on your walls and I have a very beautiful picture in my suitcase that I wasn't going to hang in the living room, if you want you can have it. -

- Yes, please. It will look so beautiful! -

- Yes, it will. -

Callie smiles at Arizona and whispers: - You have pictures of us in your living room? -

- I do. -

- And this one you are not hanging is...? -

- The wedding... It's the two of us kissing and you can see Mark cradling Sofia in his arms in the back. I will... I will put it up some day, it's just... Not yet. -

She smiles nervously, hoping she'll understand.

- Yeah, I get it. I can't actually have any picture around. If I see them, I feel stuck in the past. I need to hide them away if I want to try and face the present, you know? -

Arizona isn't sure if she gets what Callie means, but she knows now is not the time to ask for further details.

- Yeah, I know - she ends up saying with a sad smile.

When the two of them leave again, she takes a shower and dresses up quickly. She feels much better: she was worried the rollercoaster of emotions from last night would leave her too tired, but now she feels strong and so ready to begin. She's feeling happy. It's been a while since she's woken up happy.

She gathers her things and she's about to open the door and leave when she notices that Callie left the door to her room opened. She can't stop herself from going in.

Damn curiosity!

The room isn't too big and it's so messy it almost looks funny. There's clothes everywhere on the floor and on the bed, which obviously isn't made, and the wardrobe is opened, as well as the drawers. Very Callie-like.

But, even though it's so caothic, it looks somehow sad without any picture or personal effects of any kind. That's not Callie-like at all. She's more sentimental than that and her room looks just like an on call room where a bomb of clothes exploded. A question pops into her mind.

Is Callie really happy?

- You are late, Robbins. -

Nicole Herman is every bit as annoying as she used to be, maybe more.

- I know, I'm sorry, not a great start, I'll do better tomorrow. -

- You better. Now, here's the rule: you are going to be my eyes. You will tell me everything there is around, every single detail so I can picture it and decide if something's missing, are we clear? -

- Yes, ma'am. -

- Oh, this is going to be a lot of fun. -

- Sure... -

Arizona isn't exactly sure it's going to be "fun", but she wouldn't dare say it. Deep down she knows she has missed her friend a whole lot. She smiles, thinking about the amazing things they will achieve together.

- You are staring, Robbins! -

Of course she knows everything.

- I'm not, I'm not - she chuckles.

- Come on, let's go see the place where we are going to change the world. -