FANGIRL

four : hate

'Iris, okay ka lang? Okay lang kayo?' pag aalala ko sa kanila

'Calm down Lau, we're fine. Worry about yourself, these days masyado kang depressed at alam ko kung bakit. Don't let all those hates crumple you down, you're a strong person as far as I know so don't try to act as if you're okay. You can talk to us and cry, don't blame yourself about all of these, ha?' Soleil

'Thanks' I said trying to stop my tears from falling. Thank god, I have them.

Its been many months since that incident about me and Helix. They already released a statement about it, they stated that Helix and Alexa are the ones dating not me and Helix. Reminiscing those times still pains me. I always avoid thinking about it, about him. But I'm happy for him, that he's now loved by many.

Also its been months since people kept hating us because of me. People hated me because of the rumors about me and Helix and they also started to hate my group 'Replay'.

I cried and cried. Tons of bad things kept on happening first the dating issue and now the hates of people. I'm so tired. Pagod na pagod na ko, I kept on blaming myself because of all the hate, totoo naman ako naman talaga ang may kasalanan. And I deeply resent myself for that.

Someone's knocking on my door. I opened it and its Inah.

'Hi'

I laughed. She's being all awkward now cause she knows what I'm dealing with.

'Pasok'

We sat down on my bed, I guess its time for me to open up.

'Magsalita ka na, I'll listen' Inah

'Salamat, Inah'

I started opening up to her and ended up bursting into tears.

'Ang hirap lang kasi, alam mo yon I still need to deal with hates yet ansakit sakit pa rin nung nangyari samin ni Helix. I always need to force myself to smile but that's not what I feel' I said while sobbing

'Everytime I close my eyes I still remember him, I still wonder kung okay lang ba siya. Kung minahal niya ba talaga ko. I miss him Inah, every part of him. Gusto ko siyang makasama ulit, para naman manumbalik ulit yung saya ko kapag kasama ko siya. But-t he's already gone' Me still crying

'You're a great woman Lau, I know you'll find someone better. I takes time to heal. You need to patiently wait, believe me someday you'll get over him. So try to be happy, don't waste your tears for that man who left you hanging' Inah

'Thank you very much Inah. Somehow you made my worries lighter'

***

'Boo! Boo!'

'You feeler!'

'Two-faced bitches!'

'I HATE YOU!'

This is all the hate I'm talking about. We're on our small concert now and people are yelling this. Sometimes its even worse, they throw things to us to express their hate. Its hard for me to see my members get attacked for no reason while I'm the one at fault.

'YUCK!'

'YOU ALL SUCK!'

'YOU DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING!'

'HYPOCRITES!'

'DEVILS!

To be called as hypocrites, devils, two faced bitches and more, seriously hurts. Tears streamed down my face. All the fans that cheered us from the beginning we're all gone, and in the end we gained haters.