Tales of a Quarantined Female

4/20/21

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4/20/21

Dear diary,

I'm going to DIE.

Tomorrow, my mother decided that in the midst of a global pandemic, the best way to stay safe is to host a dinner party with all her friends AND her children.

WHO DOES THAT?

Not only does my mom except me to talk, she expects me to converse with complete strangers in CHINESE.

I'll have to sit through hours of "Do you remember me?" or "I met you when you were really little!"

Like, no lady. I don't remember the person who changed my diaper ONCE.

Plus, all these other kids will be there and they're all friends because they see each other a lot more often but I don't know any of them!! I don't want to eat dinner while everyone else awkwardly talks around me.

I just know for a fact that Mom and Dad are only doing this so that they can finally get me to talk so, I'm going to do everything I can to foil their plans while being the perfect daughter. I can hold up index cards or maybe I can text everyone. Either way, I'm going to make sure that not a single peep makes it out of my mouth.

Mom and Dad,

It's on.

Not that you know it's on but that doesn't diminish the fact that it is.

Love,

Eva >:)

Dear readers,

First off, I would like to say that I really put thought into the various possible excuses on why I didn't update yesterday, but in the end, I decided that I could not deceive you, my dear readers, with falsehoods and lies. So,eventually, I decided that I would simply tell you the true reason why I forgot to update.

I was preparing to write this chapter, when a part of my ceiling fell down and a green beam was projected into my room. Suddenly, the beam started to suck everything up, including me! I was flailing around for my computer in hopes that I could quickly publish this chapter for you, my devoted audience, when I was sucked up into a metal room and my computer didn't make it in with me. After a few hours, weird green people came in and started using weird tools to poke, scan, and examine me. When they were done, they beamed me back down into my room and when I looked at the date, I realized that they had kept me up there for a whole day!

In other words, I forgot.

My bad, hehe.

I'll do a double update so sometime later today, you'll get the entry for today.

See you later alligator.

Love,

Elizabeth