Tales of a Quarantined Female

4/24/21

4/24/21

Dear diary,

I re-watched Aladdin last night and let me just say, what kind of person has the most powerful entity in the world under their control, and then just asks for a fancy makeover? If I had a genie, you wouldn't be seeing me wishing for a too-big turban and some elephants.

The first thing I would wish for is infinite genies because infinite genies means infinite wishes.

The next thing I would wish for is infinite money because then I can buy whatever I want right after I buy a new TV to fix the one I broke a while ago. Watching movies on my phone just doesn't have the same vibe.

My last wish would be for everyone to skip their horrible single-digit phase and just move on to the mature thirteens.

In case you didn't notice, Phase 2 didn't go so well for me today.

Earlier today, I had taken those addresses, snuck out through my window, and made my way to the houses, ready to make some white undies turn yellow.

It seems that I had underestimated the booger's parent's security systems.

The minute I touched the window of ugly #1, an alarm went off and the parents rushed outside immediately. They saw me trying to break into their house and recognized me almost instantly.

And it really didn't help when their kid came out and told their parents that I was really mean to them at my brother's birthday party. The kid's parents glared at me before marching me back home and explaining everything to my parents who, didn't look particularly happy to see me. Once everything was explained and the confusion was cleared up, the kid and his parents went back home scot-free while I was locked in my room, where I'll be "锁起来，直到你上大学，你这可笑的女孩"

Apparently, I'm supposed to think about what I did and why it was wrong. Well, about 5 minutes into my punishment, I came up with the answers.

I should've thought over my plan a little more before trying to break into the thing's house. Maybe brought some real gear, or at least disabled that alarm system.

Needless to say, the world will be deprived of seeing my beautiful face for a long, long time.

Love,

A wrongly imprisoned Eva

Dear readers,

First off, I'm sure you're all wondering what Eva's parents said to her when they grounded her.

I'm sure you're all expecting a translation of sorts from me.

I'm sure you're all baffled when I say I'm not going to give you one.

I'm sure you're all wondering what on Earth you're going to do now!

Well, you could start off by bribing me with some skittles. That always works.

And then, you could wait until a very nice person comments the translation.

First person to do that gets a shoutout and chapter dedication (yay!)

Go forth, and translate, my minions, whilst I stay back and plot ways to steal the moon!

If you got the reference, I love you and you're amazing.

Love,

Elizabeth