Poisonous grey h.s

3

"A realization is as good as a guess
And I know it seems wrong to accept"

* * *

Lilith Angelo

I am a total complete mess.

I know I should be scared, or worried, I partially am. But with the sense of Jacob's rejection, my mind is clouded. I feel absolutely pathetic. He never called or texted me last night, nothing whatsoever to try and explain himself. If he doesn't want to talk to me that's fine.

Finally after showering, and laying down in my bed, listening to music. I was able to calm my mind and the thoughts of him settled, as I let them fade away. I found myself falling into a deep sleep rather quickly, maybe it was just the long-ass night I had.

However the morning felt like a hurricane, and it completely pulled me into an ocean of emotions. Getting ready for work wasn't easy, but with great pain is pleasure. That's is where I find myself now, sitting in my office at work staring at my computer. Praying that Niall doesn't come walking through my door.

What am I supposed to say? "Oh, I know that poisonous grey is in the area" that would lead to thousands of questions.

And could possibly bring up the fact that I know who he is.

I still can't believe I hooked up with a criminal, and the worst part is that I don't even know his name. I can imagine the repercussions of telling people about that situation.

It would make headlines: 'detective solving case finds out she had a one night stand with the criminal'

I still can't tell anyone, I would have to tell them the full story. There is absolutely no way in hell, I'm doing that. Imagine the looks that would cross their faces, especially Jacob.

Even if it's a slight violation, and could possibly get me fired.

The whole situation with Jacob is still fresh in my mind, I'm so confused with what's going on with him and me, to say the least. He told me earlier that day that he would be able to come, He practically begged me to go out with him that night.

Then he waited till the last minute to tell me he wouldn't be able to make it.

No explanation after, not even a single text. I have been waiting to ask him why. Or if we could maybe reschedule. He has been acting different lately, he hasn't seemed much like himself. He seems to get very aggravated with me, I don't know what I've done, but apparently a lot.

I don't want him to think I'm weak, I've spent too much of my young adolescent years, feeling weak, and that feeling terrifies me. There's another part of me, much smaller than eager to talk to Jacob.
However, if I do I'll end up saying something I don't mean, and I don't have the time for more guilt right now.

My door is suddenly pushed open and my eyes are pulled away from my computer screen, to see Liam walking through the deep chestnut door. He doesn't say anything at first, he just walks right in.

I could jump up and down, with the happiness, that it's Liam and not someone else.

He holds a file in his hand, as he works his way over to my small desk, to pull out the apposing chair and flop the file on my desk slightly glancing at me.

I wonder if he's gonna actually say something to me, or just sit there.

he's acting weird.

"So what's up with the weird staring, gotta crush on me?" I send him a small sarcastic smile, so he knows I'm just playing with him.