"I have emotional motion sickness"
The painting that is mentioned in this chapter is shown on the top.
LILITH ANGELOAs I'm sitting in the back of the car, thinking through and reliving all the moments in a toxic, and destructive ex-relationship wasn't something I planned on doing.
Last night was consuming, the tinge of alcohol helped however I was now left with a clear mind and a daunting headache.
My boyfriend of three years had repeatedly cheated on me for all I know. Even though the situation alone was horrible, I would be able to sleep a little better if I hadn't known he was also assaulting women. The thought made my stomach churn, remembering the little things Jacob would do that would make me uncomfortable. I can't even begin to imagine what he had done to others. I can feel myself taking the blame for this.
It's my fault he did these things to people.
I should have been smarter, I should have noticed these things so I could stop them, but I didn't. Through the long fights, down talking, and a larger list I have been making sense I woke up, filled with all Jacobs red flags. I should have known something, I'm a fucking detective after all.
Looking back being with Jacob was sweet at first, I felt safe putting my trust in him, willingly handing him my heart.
I'm not sure if I exactly loved Jacob but placing my innocence, venerability, and care for him in his hands only for him to make it into a mask that he could blind me with hurt really fucking bad.
However I find no tears damping my cheeks, most of them fell when I climbed into my bed last night, seeping into my pillow that I now need to wash when I get back.
However when I woke up and thought about the situation rising in my throat and I found myself perched over the bathroom toilet for a good hour. I can't believe I let someone like that touch me, especially when he wasn't very good at it. I didn't care about that at the time, I thought that my feelings for him mattered more than how he made me feel physical.
I remember Jacob always telling me how I should feel about things, he never let me truly feel what I wanted.
I had never realized that until now, Jacob had manipulated me into being with him in an attempt to feed his insecurities.
I'm thankful to be away from Jacob, even if I had to be kidnapped to escape him and the leash he had constricting my neck.
I'm far from Jacob now.
Were staying in Detroit for a couple of days, and the trip there is agonizingly long. We have only been on the road for about four hours, which is little of what we have left. We decided to leave later in the day around six, well they decided they wanted to leave later, I was totally for leaving earlier but they all said their hangovers were too strong. Babies
YOU ARE READING
Poisonous grey h.s
Mystery / ThrillerLilith loves her job as a detective, but not so much when she is solving the case of an anonymous art stealer. 'Poisonous grey' His nickname because of the snake tattoo that covers his neck, chest and back. Lilith now realizing he looks a little too...