The Dilemma

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

After school had ended with no hiccups in any of the system, Alaska had texted Jonah and I to meet her at her car when all the buses had departed. I met Jonah half way down the hill to the parking lot and gave him a quizzical look to which he just replied with a shrug and a raise of his dark eyebrows. We both tried to stay calm as we saw Alaska and her bright blue hair pacing next to her, as she called it, "TARDIS blue" mini cooper with the union jack painted on top. I looked at Jonah and I could see the slight panic in his eyes, I was beginning to panic a bit too, "Oh shit dude, she's pacing.. that is never a good sign when it comes to Alaska." I muttered. "Hey Alaska!" Jonah called out when we were within hearing distance of her.

She turned to us with a confusing look in her eyes, something between anger and excitement, and stopped biting her lip, her expression softening but only slightly. "Hey guys," she said in a too calm tone, it was making me nervous to be completely truthful, "take a seat." Alaska motioned to two lawn chairs near the back of her car that we hadn't noticed before and we took our seats; she was dangerously calm. "Okay now that you both are all seated and comfy, will you please, tell me what the FUCK is going on? You know I hate being kept in the dark!" She was pacing in front of us while she fumed, I decided to cut in, "Alaska! I'm sorry, okay? We were going to tell you eventually, like today eventually. I'll explain to you now." She stopped pacing and looked at me, "Yeah? Right now at this moment?" she asked softly. Jonah stood up, "yeah, right now, Alaska." Alaska shook her head microscopily as if she didn't want to hear Jonah at the moment. I thought I was the only one to notice this but apparently so did he because he reclaimed his seat and stayed quiet. I smirked, he was like a puppy with his tail between his legs when it came to her but I had to admit, she was scary when she wanted to be, "Yeah, 'laska. I'll tell you right now" I patted the top of her trunk telling her to take a seat on it.

She hopped on and looked at me expectantly, "I'm waiting!" she said in a sing song voice. I turned the lawn chair a full 180 to face her and looked at Jonah still facing the other way, "Um, Alaska, wanna give him your car keys so he can go sulk in there or something?" She chuckled, "Yeah, sure," she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled her keys out throwing them into Jonah's waiting hand, "I've got siruis and pandora, kay? But don't go fucking up my apholstery." Jonah grinned despite himself, "Damn, I had my knife all ready for some apholstery cutting."  When the car door closed behind Jonah, Alaska turned to me expectantly, "Okay, I'm all ears, Johnny boy." 

"Well I like Abel, you see and I-" I had started trying to explain when Alaska cut in, "No shit you like Abel. No, I need the real story, from this morning. You don't just slip a good story past an english major. I can practically smell it. Give me the details, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want it all. Now please, start again but from this morning." She put her chin on her hands and leaned down toward me, waiting. I felt my face burn with a deep blush in the chill november air. 

I took a deep breath, "I woke up this morning with a boner and then I had to do like ummm..." I made a "Yahtzee" motion in the air and Alaska grinned and said softly, "It's okay, Johnny, you can say it, I mean you are 17. I mean, I do it too." I had almost forgotten who I was talking to Alaska was one of the most understanding girls I had ever met, so I started over. When I was done telling what had happened this moring, including the good, the bad, and the ugly, I looked up from my hands, which I had been staring at for the expanse of the tale, and looked at her on the trunk. She had made her hands into a gun looking shape except she had pressed her index fingers to her lips with her thumbs under her chin, she used this gesture so much we all began to just call it the "Alaska thinking position" and we all learned not to bother her when she was like this. 

I sat for a good 5 minutes waiting for her to come back from her mind palace (she called it that, not me), when she finally came to she looked at me and smiled. I looked at her expectantly, asking what she was thinking with my eyes. She jumped off her trunk and put her hands on my shoulders before I could stand and be taller than her again, "The solution to you problem is simple, child," she said smartly. "and I will help you on your way to that solution."