TRUE LOVE (PART 2)

CHAPTER 9 THE IGNORANCE

Sorry everyone for the late update..

I closed my eyes; I didn't want him to know that I was weak and a coward. He already knew that I had feelings for him, but he didn't know that I was still hung up on him, even after so long.

And now, him seeing that ring meant; he knew my
weakness. He was behind me and he didn't move. My eyes were still closed, and the silence stretched. I wanted him to break the silence between us. I didn't know what to say or what he will say.

He clenches the chain in his finger and holds it there; He didn't move nor did I. A few minutes later he
drops the chain and suddenly takes the book and reads the poem once more.

"You didn't read my letters?"he asked, with panic and anger.

I didn't reply and his tone made me jump from his lap to
another side of the sofa; startling me. As he read the poem once again, Ijust kept looking at him. His eyes were wide, and he was in a rush; reading it again as fast as he could; seeing him felt like he was losing it. Then he got up and started phasing thinking about something and it made me nervous.

"Tell me you read the letters?" he asked, worriedly. He still hoped I would say yes.

"No." I barely whispered the word. He gave me an infuriated stare, as I confirmed that what I wrote in the poem was true, and I continued instantly.

"I mean I read one letter 'to my best friend, not the other
one." I continued slowly. I looked down at my hands.
I was not ready to discuss the letter now. It was not the time.

"But why didn't you read it? I gave it to you so that you could read it and you could understand what it was like for me, why I left. How can you be so stupid and selfish?" he almost yelled at me.

"That's why you didn't?" he barked.

Listening to his tone, anger started to boil inside me I didn't understand what he was saying. He doesn't have any right to yell at me for the choice I made andI snapped.

"What?" I barked back.
He flinched at my tone. I got up and continued.
"When you left me, did you come even once to tell me
goodbye?" I hissed.

He didn't answer he looked at me with wide eyes; confused, they were wet and so waS mine.

"Answer me." I spoke a little softly calming myself.
"No, butI wrote the le," he tried to say.

"Shh.."I stopped him before he could finish his sentence.
"It was your choice to leave me and left me with just two
letters. Just like that, it was my choice if I wanted to read it or not."I said, each word slowly and clearly.

"But," he paused and sat down on the sofa, burying his face in his hands.

I closed my eyes, took deep breaths and calmed myself first, then continued softly.

"I don't understand why you are so mad at me? You found out just now ten seconds back thatI didn't read your letters and it made you so angry that you snapped at me. But then, when you showed your face here after nine years, you tell me how much anger I should have shown?"I Paused. He didn't move.

"But still, I welcomed you with a smile and happiness. I
know I lost control a few times but still, I tried to be brave and smiled like nothing was wrong. And now when you found out I didn't read your letters; you couldn't hold your emotions for even one minute and you already lost it on me?" I paused for
breath again.

The anger made me breathless.

"You're yelling at me for what? You are pissed at me just
because I made a choice; where it would not hurt me just like you made your choice nine years back when you left without meeting me?" I stopped; I threw my hands in the air as surrender and tried to breathe. And hoped for no panic attack.

He was quite not saying anything, and I continued once
again.
"This is not fair. You have no idea, what I have gone through, you don't even know how I felt about you nine years back and you don't even know what I feel about you now. So please stop pretending that you know me, because you know nothing" I said, sobbing and closing my eyes.

Tears were already in motion; I could feel them flowing over my cheeks. Then I felt Aly's fingers softly brushing on my cheeks. He wipes the tears from my face softly. I opened my eyes and saw him; he was in pain too; He was crying too, which made me confused.

Is he crying because he was feeling bad for me?" I thought.
Then just like him, slowly I wiped his tears too. He placed his hand around me and pulled me in his embrace and he sobbed. With that, even I started sobbing. We both stood there for who knows how long. We stood there hugging,
crying and hiding our face from each other.

"Why are you crying?" I asked, my voice cracked; I cleared my throat and tried again.

"Why are you crying?"I still couldn't see his face, as my face was still over his shoulder and his hands were around my waist still holding me close.

"Because I left you nine years ago," his voice was barely
audible.
"Hush, it's ok now, don't cry. It was a long time ago." I tried to convince him and myself.

I dropped my hand down and pulled out of his embrace to see him.
"Why are you crying?" he asked.

His face was red; I was sure it matched with mine.

"I missed you so much every day. I can't even explain." I
started sobbing again I couldn't even finish my sentence and hugged him tightly hiding my face.
I didn't want him to go anywhere. But also, I know this was the last night as tomorrow will be the last day and I need to say my goodbye soon, this made me cry even more.

After a minute he whispered.
"I want to talk to you,"he said, in a soft voice in my ears.
"Not now, please." I pulled out from his embrace and told
him kindly.

He pulled me closer again and holding me tight. I patted his back.

"Come, let's go. It's late," I whispered.
He let go of me and I looked at the wall clock; It showed a quarter after three in the morning.

"We need to get up by 8:00 a.m. as the wedding starts
at around 10:00 a.m." I informed him and started walking towards my room.

"You should try to sleep too. You wouldn't want to look dead in the wedding photos."I winked at him and I smiled widely.

He said nothing just smiled, and to my surprise, his smile reached his eyes. It was like he suddenly was glad. I turned and stepped in my room and locked the door behind me, confused.

I switched off the lights, climbed the bed and lay on my back and it felt strange and lonely to sleep alone. It was strange because I slept my entire life alone and never felt lonely but now after sleeping one night with Alu in a bed; it changed me and now suddenly I felt lonely.

And I was already aching for his arm and chest.
I punched the pillow in frustration; it was way too soft for me. I knew at any moment now my breathing would hike; I knew ifI continued to over think, then I would end up having a panic attack.

So, I closed my eyes and calmed myself by saying 'Om Namah Shivaya' in my head. I repeated the same mantra uncountable times and released a deep breath and then I was relaxed at-least it seemed like it.

As the minutes passed by, I started thinking about our past again, about the day I said, I love Aly to myself.