missing you

chapter 4

It's been five days since that conversation with the pack and my self harming is getting out of control.

It's like no matter what I do I'm not allowed to be happy.

I wish I could see newt.

Oh how I missed his dirty blonde hair, his smooth dark chocolate eyes, his rough yet smooth slightly tanned skin, not to mention his short height

(I'm making newt shorter cause it'll be cute like you know newt wearing Thomas' jersey and it hangs past his knees🥺)

I miss when he would wear my shirts, I miss how they would loosely hang on his small figure but that just made him even hotter to me.

In short I miss my newtie.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by my phone ringing.

It's Scott.YAY!

no

(T-thomas, s-scott)

T-hey man what's up (fake it till you make it)

S- there's a pack meeting tonight at six.

T-ye ok dude see ya then bye.

S- bye

I look over at my clock only to see it ten to six.

I rush to get ready as I don't want to be late.

*Time skip to the loft*

I walk in to see everyone's serious faces.

Damn who stepped on their tails.

"Uh everything ok guys?" I asked wearily, I know they're my pack but I don't trust them, not anymore.

"Stiles, we've made a decision" Scott starts "and we've decided that you either tell us what happened or your out of the pack"

I look at him in shock before I slowly remove any emotion on my face.

"Then I guess I'm out the pack" I state in a monotone voice.

And with that I turned around and walked out not even bothering to close the door behind me.

As soon as I enter Rosco, tears start staining my face leaving tracks on their journey down my cheeks.

During the car ride I nearly crashed twice from not being able to see through my misty eyes.

Once I arrive I stop my jeep but I don't get out. I look in the drive way to see my dad's car gone signaling that he has a Nightshift.

I pull out of my house with one last glance back.

I park outside of the preserve and walk past the warning sign.

I pay more attention to my surroundings, the way the leaves crunch under my feet, the way the wind whips through trees and branches making slight whistling sounds, the way the chilled, icy wind wraps itself around me, making my body erupt with goose bumps. I pay more attention as it might be my last chance.

I keep walking until I stumble across the all to familiar stupid magic tree stump.

I walk over to it and sit down.

Yes I know it's stupid to sit down on the one thing that had cause many, many deaths but I can't help but feel safe and relaxed.

I slowly lean back till I'm fully laying down.

I reached into my pocket and pull out the spare blade I keep hidden incase I need it in school.

With one last breath I whisper "I'm sorry newt"
And create two thick slices on each of my wrists.

Smiling slightly at the sensation of feeling in control once more.

Savouring that release.

I close my eyes and welcome the darkness.

Before I black out I hear a voice I never thought I'd hear again.

"TOMMY!"