4. The Dessert called Love

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Book Name: The Dessert called Love
Author: magicallittle_writer
Number of Chapters: 5
Genre: Romance

Reviewer: Nayasha_Jena

REVIEW

FULL MARKS OBTAINED: 51/70

1. PLOT: 7/10

The plot so far feels generic. No offense. I know there are a lot of chapters you have to write. Maybe you can change the plot a bit in the later chapters. Put some twists and spice in the sweet. Too much sweet is sometimes really boring. I mean it is predictable what is going to happen next. I hope you understand what I mean. :) 

2. GRAMMAR: 3/5

I noticed that you have to work on your grammar a lot. In some places, the punctuations were missing which would make it really difficult for a reader to understand what you really meant to convey. The second, you have a whole big issue with tenses. I know, sometimes even I make those mistakes but you can overcome them by editing your stories carefully, bit by bit. If you are unable to do so, there are a lot of amazing writers on Wattpad who will help you to edit your works. No worries, these things are common and I bet you will surely overcome these. :)

3. VOCABULARY: 3/5

No doubt, you have a great sense of vocabulary. I love how in some places you have made some beautiful comparisons. I really appreciate that. But, but, in certain phrases, you have misused some words. Misused as in not according to the meaning, but in the form. I don't really remember the word but you can take the following example to understand.

"I was really shocked to witness the scene." ( this statement conveys a kind of negative meaning)
"I was really amazed  to witness the scene." ( while this one feels more like a positive one)

And yeah, you have used some words numerous times, which really lowers the level of enjoyment. This is really a very short problem. Don't dishearten yourself. Just read more and more books and collect new words to enhance your vocabulary. :)

4.BOOK TITLE: 5/5

The title is really sweet and is attractive. The title itself conveys the story which is really impressive. And that's why your title gets straight 5 marks. :)

5. INTERACTION: 5/5

It is good that you interact with your readers. It leaves a good impression on them and they get even more interested in your story. :)

6.BOOK COVER: 4/5

The cover is a cute one but it feels like a literature book of kindergarten. No offense is intended. I just felt it didn't really stand out. You know it won't attract many readers. The font looks good but the background is too girly. You know what I mean. But again, no worries. If you want we can create some amazing covers for your book and help you attract more and more readers. If you want, then you can PM us in this account or simply fill the form of GRAFFITI CORNER. :)

7.BOOK DESCRIPTION: 6/10

Sorry to say love but the description didn't really speak to me. It is really short and due to the grammatical mistakes, it just didn't find a place in my heart that well. I wish if you could have written more. The description which you have shared doesn't look convincing yet it is sweet in a way. That reference of sweet tooth got me. xD xD I hope you get what I mean. :)

8. EVOKING EMOTIONS: 8/10

If you try, you can definitely make your readers feel like your characters. Write a bit detail about how your character is feeling. Don't write in a haphazard manner, rather start describing from one point and end it not another point. For example: If your character is really shocked and staggered, start describing from his/her trembling or shivering legs, twisted knot in the stomach, heart banging inside the chest, parched throat, heavy sweating, erratic breathing, dizzy head, and overall about the whole body, how it goes numb. Kinda like this. It was just for your understanding. This way, the readers can feel the same emotion as if it's their story. :)

9. PLOT TWISTS: Your story didn't have any plot twist so far as your book contains only 5 chapters. So we will not count this and will only give you scores out of 70. :)

10. REVIEWER'S OPINION: 10/15

So far I liked the book. I like the names. They feel like 90s Indian names. xD xD Because in our generations, the names are similar to western styles. So yeah, the names were really good. The way you try to put humor, you can improve the style of writing so that your lines would hit the readers hard, right on their face.  The last paragraph of the 5th chapter can be formed in a different and funnier way:-

"But Sujat was completely unaware of the fact that Ambika gazing back at him was just a piece of misconception in his mind. Her black orbs restlessly searched for that large round device, with three hands, making a periodic "tick-tock" which hung right behind Sujat. " 

Yeah kinda like this, which highlights the humor in the situation. (LOL. This was not that good. This was just an example.) :)
Sorry, if I offended you in any way.
Anyways.

Author, you rock. 🎊🎉


 🎊🎉

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