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We, Disha and Nayasha, humbly present our humbly created humble, humble, very humble review shop, the humblest of humbles, INK MONSTER REVIEWS!
Reads? Votes? Comments? Shoutouts? Stickers?
FAME?
We have it...
1.PLOT: 5/10 Okay, look. In the first chapter, you had mentioned that this was going to be your original, a little bit basing upon Attack On Titan and not fanfiction. But lad, the chapters were a bit too similar to the anime. As the name of your first chapter was "FOR YOU, TEN MILLION YEARS AGO" was pretty similar to Attack On Titan manga's first chapter title- "TO YOU, 2000 YEARS AGO", okay fine, that was acceptable to some extent. But some of the scenes were totally similar. The way the Titans trampled the village, "Humanity's lost lands", the main character being curious about the outside world and when asked about his weird curiosity, he answered he wanted FREEDOM.
The main character Kashima Yado is analogous to Eren Yaeger. His friend circle, although belonging to a different village and having different stories, still, gave Mikasa and Armin vibes. The action scenes of Liberty Warriors were identical to that of the action scenes of the Scout Regiment. And like the scout went out with a lot of men and came with a few surviving, you did the same thing to the Liberty Warriors. Also, the way Eren had a dream in the first chapter about destruction, the Queen had the same kind of bad dream. You can't acknowledge that this is entirely your own work. Whether you give credits to Hajime Isayam or not, it's still not quite your original work- therefore a fanfiction, but with different character names.
But don't worry. From further chapters, you can change the plot and something new to it. I am sure you can do it. :)
2.GRAMMAR: 3/5 There are a lot of unavoidable mistakes in the usage of punctuation marks and you have misspelt some words at some places. I hope you will rectify those mistakes. :)
3.VOCABULARY: 3/5 You do have a great many words in your dictionary but I noticed you have repeated some words a million times which makes it really ugly to read. Try using some new words, you know more ornamental since this is a kinda historical fantasy. :)
4.BOOK TITLE: 5/5 I can give full marks for the title because it is really amazing. I really loved it. It is attractive, sounds aristocratic and tantalizing, just what a book like this needs. :)
5.INTERACTION: 3/5 It was disappointing that you rarely interacted with your readers. In the initial chapters, there wasn't any reply from you but as the book progressed, you started replying to your readers which is good. You should interact with your readers, this helps in attracting more readers. :)
6.BOOK COVER: 4/5 Simple, sober and aesthetic. It could have been more attractive tho. :)
7.BOOK DESCRIPTION: 8/10 I liked the description. It is intriguing and gives proper hints about what is going to happen in the story. But it could have been better. :)
8. EVOKING EMOTIONS: 6/10 You have to work on this attribute, honey. I couldn't feel anger, grief or anything while reading your story. Even during Kashima being dragged into that jail, nothing felt gross. Intensify the emotions. You quite hint at all of 'em, but as long as you don't intensify them, the normal average beginner reader would be lost among the info you give him/her but you'll fail to strike him where it affects most- the emotional cortex in the brain. I don't know I don't even felt anything while all those bloodshed scenes or may I am just used to AOT's scenes so much that I didn't feel anything. Just joking. Try adding more emotions to your work. :)
9.PLOT TWISTS: 6/10 Hmm....I... didn't really find any good plot twists so far. Of course, there were only 7 chapters, so plot twists won't come that early. But I hope, you get to add huge shocks in the further chapters. :)
10. REVIEWER'S OPINION: 10/15 This is a great story. I will surely look forward to reading the further chapters. But try bringing more originality to the story. Change the plot with your own ideas. Edit the grammatical mistakes I had mentioned and intensify the feelings behind each word. Well, those banners were sick. They looked really good. Finally, no need to disappoint yourself, you can do this. You make your book perfect. :)
Sorry, if I offended you. :)
Author, you rock. 🎉🎊
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