CHAPTER 35

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It was heart shattering.

The minutes after I was sent out was the worst and longest moment of my life.

Seeing Mrs. Kim looking absolutely crushed tore me apart.

Keeping it together-and failing miserably, at that-while Mrs. Kim crumbled in my arms was excruciating.

But hearing the words "She's okay," from Jen's doctor was pure heaven.

I swore I almost fainted in relief. I wanted to barge into the room, but Jen was sent to intensive care, I think. I stopped listening after I heard that she was okay.

She's okay.

I never thought that the beeping sounds of hospital machines would ever be my favourite sound-at least for now.

She's okay.

This morning, she was again sent back to her hospital room.

She's okay, I repeat to myself for the millionth time today.

Just five minutes ago, I was told that I could go to Jen's room again. Apparently, she was awake a few hours ago, and she should be all right soon. The drugs they gave her just knocked her out for a while. Soon after given this news, I spread the news to Mrs. Kim. I sprint to Jen's room, but when I reach the door, I found myself unable to just burst through the doors.

It hits me.

I almost completely and eternally lost her.

I shake the thoughts away.

She's okay.

As I step into the room, I feel my heart pounding. The reassuring beeps of the hospital machines strangely calmed me down as I walked as gently as I could towards Jen's bedside that has served as my home for the past week. I make absolutely no sound as I approach a resting Jennie, and all I can do is look at her. When I reach her bedside, I can barely breathe. It feels as if she'd break if I made any sound.

Many times I almost reach out to touch her, but I pull my hand back every time. Do I deserve this woman?

"I miss you," I utter, barely a whisper.

Then, like a dream, her eyes finally flutter open.

Frozen in place, I hold my breath. Is this real?

It takes her a few minutes to adjust her eyes. Her drowsy eyes slowly dart around the room, and when they land on mine, everything is colourful again. I'm alive again.

She's okay.

Her lips curve into a smile immediately. "Hi," she whispers. She clears her throat but winces in pain, sending me back to reality.

Tears uncontrollably escape my eyes, and I smile. "Hi. How are you?" I keep my voice soft.

Her adorable face frowns in confusion. "Who are you?"

Words cannot describe how my heart gave out with that question.

Then she weakly chuckles. "I'm kidding. I'm sorry, I've always wanted to do that," she speaks out with her dry throat.

I bury my face in my hands. I don't even know how I feel at the moment. "Don't freakin' do that. God, that hurt so much."

Then I feel her hand touch mine, causing me to look up from my hands. God, she's beautiful.

"I'm sorry, Lis. That was a bad joke," she apologized, with a dumb smile. Hearing my name from her lips made my heart sing.

"Yes. Yes it was," I agreed as I kept her hands between mine, my lips resting on her fingers. I sigh at the sight of her finally awake. "I had this entire apology speech for when you woke up, and I-I thought I wouldn't get to say it because I almost lost you, and now my brain isn't even working because nothing feels real and all I want to do right now is just hug you because God I love you so much and I miss you and I just... how are you? Are you all right?"

"I'm all right, baby. Kind of woozy, but I'm okay. The nurse told me everything. Apparently, I got shot. That's kind of cool, right?"

I shake my head rapidly. "No. It absolutely isn't cool."

"But..."

"No, baby. You're never getting shot again, okay?"

She chuckled weakly. "Okay. I wasn't planning on it, Lis."

"Can you say my name again?" I request.

"Lisa Manoban, I love you."

I find my eyes involuntarily closing at the pleasure and relief of knowing this is real. I sigh. "You take care, okay? I'm never leaving your side again, I promise."

"Lis, you don't have to worry about me anymore, okay? I'm okay. How are you? You look like you haven't had any sleep."

"That's flattering. That's not really what you tell your girlfriend after not seeing them for weeks, you know," I tease in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"So you're my girlfriend again?"

"You're so dumb. I always was," I say. I kiss her hand again. "I love you. I'm never letting you go again, I promise. I'm sorry for being stubborn. God, if only I didn't let you leave, this wouldn't have happened and I'm so so sorry Jen-"

"This is not your fault. Please don't ever blame yourself for this. Please."

"But-"

"No. This is not your fault, okay?"

"But if I-"

"Listen to me, baby," she demands softly, and I willingly follow. "I'm okay now, and that's all that matters, okay? I'm not going anywhere anymore, I swear."

"I almost lost you," my voice cracks. "I can't believe I allowed that to happen."

"It's not your fault, Lisa."

"I love you."

"I love you. Stop crying, baby. It hurts seeing you like this. I'm okay, I promise."

I wipe my tear-stained cheeks with a chuckle. "I-I'm sorry. I just... I missed you. So much. And seeing you in that condition... I-it killed me. Don't die, okay?"

"I'm right here, baby. I'm okay, and we'll be home soon and everything will go back to normal, I promise."

"I'm never leaving again. I'm all yours, always. No matter what. You're never getting rid of me again, and I mean it this time."

She laughs. God, I love that sound. "I think I'd like that."

Then, with wide eyes, I exclaim "Oh! Should I call the doctors and tell them you're awake? I'm sorry, I completely forgot about them when you started talking!"

She nods with an adoring grin. "Yeah, you should probably call them."

"I'll-I'll be back. I love you," I say as I stand up. I hesitate for a second as I consider kissing her. I give in anyway. "Can I kiss you?" I ask.

She nods. "Of course, loser."

I lean forward and give her forehead a lingering kiss. I feel her cold thumb brush the tears off my cheeks.

I exhale in relief once I pull away. "I'll be quick, Jennie. Give me a minute. Don't go anywhere."

She laughs again. "I can't really go anywhere, but okay, baby."

"I love you."

"I love you. We're okay, baby. You don't have to worry anymore. I'm back."

I smile. "You're back," I say out loud as a reminder to myself. "I got you back."

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