Homecoming

Chapter 5

May has finally arrived. The gloomy dry weather passed and pleasant sunny days came. The temperatures were wise and rose a few bars higher on the thermometer. Outside, everything blossomed, life awoke, and the world seemed more alive, more colorful.

It was Saturday morning and I was drinking coffee in my small living room. I sat on the couch and listened to the soothing clatter of swallows that penetrated my apartment through the half-open windows. I was free to consider what I would do today. I could go visit my parents, I thought. But it was Saturday and I knew quite well that they would both be digging in the vegetable garden and that was really nothing to me. I have never been able to distinguish weeds from small shoots of carrots or parsley. I would also like to vacuum, but on the other hand, it would be a shame not to use such pleasant weather for a short walk.

I reached for the list I made a few weeks ago, hoping it would be the way to a better self. I re-read the ten things that should have made me a stronger person with a renewed zest for life, but I didn't seem to make any extra progress in fulfilling it.

Maybe up to two or three points. I met new people, but not as much as I imagined. Even after more than a month after I started working in a local cafe, I didn't admit anyone to my body. With my colleagues, it still remained only when addressed by name, greetings such as hello, hello, see you tomorrow, but nothing deeper. I didn't know anything more about any of them, because they didn't tell me anything and I didn't ask. I didn't want to be intrusive.

I also started eating better. I visited my parents more often, where there was always something under my tooth and sometimes some of the leftovers that I could take home and the next day warm in the microwave and eat. Otherwise, my refrigerator and pantry yawned with emptiness.

There wasn't much faith, but I didn't look at him with disappointment in my eyes, because I just moved on. I got rid of the rings that I threw into the river one day on the way to work. And surprise, it didn't even hurt. It was more of a liberating feeling.

So in retrospect, I haven't excelled in those two months. Three points and even half that. Well, no fame, but since it was a plan for the whole year, I still had time to improve my score.

I walked to the open window and took a deep breath of fresh air. It smelled of the lilac that bloomed next to the entrance to the building, and this pleasantly penetrating scent reminded me of the arrival of summer. I adored orgy. He was able to illuminate the entire garden and surroundings with his rich tassel inflorescences. In London, I often brought home a few branches from the walk and put them in a vase.

This nice sunny weather tempted me to go out. I decided that when I cleaned up and cooked up, I could finally go get to know the surroundings in the afternoon. So far, I only knew one route, and that was the one that led to the cafe where I worked. On the way to work, there was also a supermarket that I visited, but I didn't know anything more about my surroundings. I had no idea if there were any other shops, parks, restaurants or cafes. I spent my days at work and with my parents or a sister with the children.

To put it mildly, I was a little stressed, so I didn't go out. I started a new job, which I fortunately liked, but the first days were difficult. I had to get used to the new rules, learn the prices of the products, the names of the dishes and goodies on offer, and everyone looked at me as new goods. I understood that. The cafe was mostly visited by the same people, and when I showed up, everyone was wondering who I was, what I was, where I came from, and so on. Answering their questions was sometimes difficult, if I wanted to keep at least what - such privacy.

After two o'clock in the afternoon, I actually went outside. I myself was surprised that it was not just empty words. I said several times in the morning that I would go for a walk later, but I always gave up afterwards. I defended my actions with excuses such as - it's cold, the cold wind is blowing, nothing is happening, because I can go tomorrow, so I was proud of myself that I finally found the courage to go out.