Life is strange to say the least, you already know what I fear about life and how it is inevitable, I always dread death, when I learned that one day, we wouldn't be alive anymore, I remember bawling my eyes out thinking about my parents deaths, thankfully none of them have died but that might be why I'm caring about others, I don't want anyone to feel like how I felt and I always try to cheer people up, I became a hugging pillow, someone to help others with anxiety and a person to talk to if you had no friends with you, I've personally enjoyed that but I always think to myself why am I guiding others to something that I don't even know? Well I can't tell you that because I have no idea, I have had some people help me with things, a lot of it being relationship advice, personally I always thought the purpose of life was to grow up, date someone and maybe have a child (unless you're gay) then I just say spend your time with your loved one and die with them holding your hand or something like that, I have always tried to find love but it has been a nightmare for me, I see others do it so easily and I struggle and don't know what to do if someone makes an advancement or something like that, like I said, I'm not very social so I tend to be really quiet unless if I'm with my friends, then I'm a cheerful person who can light up people's days.
I'm not really comfortable with sharing my secrets, only one person knows of my most embarrassing secret and knows my fetishes (IRL at least) and I'm glad that I was accepted for who I was and not dehumanised, my friend is super nice and I'm thankful to have someone like that as a best friend, he defended me in the story I told about last time and I have known him for 10 years. Me and him always talk about the type of people he wants to date, with him liking the short and submissive women and me liking the tall and dominant women but we wanted one thing in particular, we want a genuine relationship with our partners and not just for the money and the looks (everyone has a preference and it is not really embarrassing to me, nor is it to him)
Most of my life has been spent playing video games and escaping the sad reality that is life and trying to ignore everything terrible around me, also I was wondering if anyone would want to play a game with me if they see this, I have a PS4 account and a Nintendo switch account and I like playing games with people and talking to them (message if interested, I'm alright if it is just for a talk, just remember that I get voice cracks a lot and stutter)
Plus I should specify some things, I'm decent at video games, don't expect a pro, I don't like toxic people at all and getting shouted at makes me a cry a little so I'm always on my best behaviour.
Anyways life is full of wonders, most people say live your life to the fullest and I have to agree with that, just remember to always be kind and helpful to others
Anyways, this is RetroRaptor, peace :3
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