Mathematical Desires

Chapter 1

I felt a man spooning me, holding me in his big yet tender arms. We were in his bed, I could feel his fluffy sheets underneath my feet. I was wearing nothing but a big black oversized T-Shirt, it was probably his. I had no underwear on and the shirt just barely covered my growing erection. I could feel him sniffing my hair, with one arm he was keeping me in his tight but warm embrace. With the other, he was caressing my leg, his hands leaving trails on my leg and he was slowly making his way up to my boner. "Alejandro, " he whispered in a deep manly voice. When he spoke my name a shiver went out throughout my entire body. It rattled inside me and stirred things up inside my stomach. He moved his head so it was now resting gently on my shoulder his mouth right next to my ear. "You're so beautiful Alejandro, " as he said this I began to feel him grinding his bulge against my bare ass. My heart started to race inside of my chest and beads of sweat started to appear all over my body. He was wearing lycra underwear and it felt amazing against my skin.

I moaned, "fuck me, please." I begged. I heard him chuckle, I could feel his hot breath against my skin. He placed his bulge right on my throbbing hole, he removed his hand from my leg and began to slowly take off his underwear. Right, when he was about to enter me I heard a noise. I opened my eyes and turned to look at my phone ringing, the screen lit up with my school alarm clock telling me to wake up, damn it was a dream. I picked up my phone from my black nightstand and tapped on the screen to make the alarm go away.

7:50 AM, Monday, January 11th, today was the first day of the second semester of my last year in high school. But it was also my birthday, I'm turning 18, I will finally be able to legally vote and legally sleep with men. I chuckled maybe now you'll finally be able to lose your virginity. I closed my eyes and yawned, stretched out my arms and legs, and sluggishly got out of bed. I picked up my phone and slid it into my short pockets. I stood on my cold wooden floor, I looked down and saw a tent pitched in my shorts. I remembered the dream and how I almost got railed by that mysterious man. I don't remember what his face looked like but I do remember how he held me and called me beautiful. It made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy even for a moment, even if he wasn't real, he made me feel happy. Then reality kicked in and this wave of sadness washed over me, he wasn't real. I'm 18 still single, still a virgin, and still have never kissed or held hands with a boy, it's pathetic. You're pathetic. The little voice in my head spoke and it made me feel horrible. I quickly shook my head. No! Today is not a sad day! Today I will be happy! And this year I will lose my virginity to a hot, muscular, big, sexy man! Even if it's the last thing I do! Period!

I walked out of my bedroom, my mom's room being the one right opposite of mine. My school started before my mom got up for work so she was still sleeping peacefully. I walked into the kitchen and turned on the lights, the lights were bright and it was still dark so it took my eyes a minute to adjust. I opened the brown cupboards and grabbed a chocolate, and an almond protein bar. I sat down at the black marble peninsula and ate my "breakfast" as I scrolled through Twitter on my phone. Once I finished eating, I got up threw the wrapper in the trash, and walked into my bathroom.

I placed my phone on the sink and began to disrobe, taking off my pajama shirt and shorts. I threw my underwear into the dirty clothes bin and folded my pajamas and placed them on the sink next to my phone. I looked at myself in the mirror, standing there completely naked and examining my body. I had a couple of insecurities about my body, I was skinny, not fit, but also not flat I had a barely visible four-pack if that's what it's called. I looked at my legs, I was Mexican so I had a good number of body hair, some on my legs, my arms, my lower back. It was hard to feel good about my body when I had body hair especially when the beauty standard for gay bottoms such as myself is completely hairless and having silky smooth skin. I turned around and looked at my ass in the mirror and my opinion on my ass always changes, sometimes I like it, sometimes I hate it. I'm not flat but I'm also not super thick when I wear pants or shorts sometimes I think I look thick but then I see how other people's butts look on the internet and my insecurities just skyrocket.