The Things You Mean to Me // Harry Styles Series #1 - Holmes Chapel

Who's Gonna Be The First To Say Goodbye

My final week at Holmes Chapel Comprehensive School was perfectly normal in so many ways. I went to classes and did homework all week; I even took a test on my next to last day. I did not tell Sammi or Callum what they could go do to themselves, but I was tempted. My friends tiptoed around me a bit, not really knowing how to say goodbye.

And then there was Harry.

He pouted all the time, and I caught him looking like he was about to cry a lot. I kept up a brave face during the day, and cried myself to sleep at night, afraid that if I let my guard down and cried in front of him – or anyone – I might never stop.

Anne invited us to a farewell dinner at their house on Friday evening. I would have much rather spent the time alone with Harry, but we couldn't refuse her hospitality. And Dad wouldn't have let me anyway.

Robin came to the door when we rang, and led us right through to the garden, which was hung in brightly colored paper lanterns.

Where all of my friends were waiting.

Harry had been in on it. I was seriously impressed by his secret keeping ability.

The food was all my favorite English dishes. Fish and chips, toad in the hole, which wasn't as gross or dirty as it sounds, and cottage pie. Pastries from Mandeville's, Cornetto cones, and Jammy Dodgers. And Apple Tango.

Everyone had brought me gifts to remember them by. Haydn, Will, and Nick gave me a framed, autographed photo of the band, looking cool, standing in front of a brick wall. Harry had a goofy red headband and his giant eagle belt buckle on. It reminded me of an album cover. It was awesome.

Doulaye and Kiki had pooled their resources and bought me a really nice coffee table book about the history of Holmes Chapel. They also gave me a postage paid box so I could ship it home. That was very thoughtful.

And then there was Emma. Emma, who could have bought me just about anything. Instead she made a beautiful scrapbook, filled with notes from all our friends, and photos, even from prom less than a week before. I got pretty teary, but I didn't let myself actually cry. Because if I did, I might never stop.

The tears leaked a little more as I said my goodbyes to the Band Bunch. Of course we all had each other's emails and phone numbers and social media stuff, but it was a strange feeling, knowing that we would probably never see each other again. Except for Emma. She had already booked flights to come see me in August.

Dad and I were the last to leave. The adults gave Harry and I some time to ourselves as they tidied up, and we sat in the back corner of the garden making plans for the next two days.

Both Anne and Robin gave me big hugs before we left, thanking me for being there for Harry. Anne surprised my father with a hug, too, but Robin just shook his hand. Dad looked relieved. He'd be seeing Harry again, so they just said a friendly goodnight.

~

We'd leave early Monday morning for Heathrow. I was looking forward to actually seeing the countryside on the drive, now that it was spring.

So I helped Dad pack the crate on Saturday morning, while Harry worked at Mandeville's. I couldn't bring myself to go one last time, so I asked Harry to tell the ladies I said goodbye. My room looked bare after I took down the posters and photos I'd put up over the past four months. Dad was still working in his room across the hall when I finished my own bags, so I went to keep him company.

"You accumulated a lot of stuff, too, didn't you?" He was boxing up files from work.

"I did. Hugh and I accomplished a lot. A lot of people's lives are going to be improved."

"Dad, I might not exactly be interested in what you do, and I definitely don't understand it, but I'm really proud of you."

"Thank you, Sweetheart. I'm incredibly proud of you, too. The way you left everything behind without complaining and fit right in here, it was impressive to see. You've found some really good friends, too. Nice kids with their heads on straight. Although those boys could use some pants that stay up."

I laughed. "Trousers. Their pants stay up just fine, as we can see since their trousers are falling down. I've tried to convince Harry that they look plain old stupid, but I guess he's just a slave to fashion."

"I'm sure I was wearing something equally ridiculous when I was sixteen. About Harry..."

I cringed, not wanting to embark on a conversation that would end with me in tears.

"Anne and Robin and I were talking at the party, and they happen to be going out of town tonight. We, um... well, we wanted you two to know that you don't have to go sneaking around. You have our permission to stay there."

I had no idea how to respond to this. I mean, sixteen is the legal age of consent in England, so I guess they couldn't really tell us no, but to openly let us spend the night together?

Dad could see I was at a loss.

"Sweetheart, we all know he was here the weekend I went away. Harry's dad fessed up to Anne, and she called me. We decided that we weren't going to make a fuss. You're good kids. And we were all your age once upon a time. We're going to let it go. But don't get any ideas when we get home. Things are different there."

"Um, thank you, Dad. It's a little weird, but thank you. And don't worry about when we get home. I don't think I'll be doing the boy thing for a while. It's going to be hard, but I'll be ok, I promise."

"That's my girl."

.~

Harry came over after work.

"Did your mom tell you about tonight?" He nodded. "Is it weird that I almost wish we needed to sneak around? I mean, they were talking about us. About us... you know. Gross."

"Definitely gross. Will you come home with me now? They've gone already."

"I've got my backpack ready to go. What're we doing tomorrow?"

"I thought a picnic by the river. It's going to be a lovely day. I don't suppose you've got a dress still out of the suitcase? 'Cause no one ever looks so good in a dress." He said the oddest things sometimes, but I liked it. "I have this idea of you standing by the river, the sun on you, wearing a pretty dress. Is that too weird?"

I loved him so much.

We got a pizza for our dinner and things felt very domestic and adult as we ate and cleaned up, then sat on the sofa watching a movie. There was almost no kissing; we really were like an old married couple.

Until the movie ended.

There was kind of this unspoken agreement that we would make the most of the time we had left, and we didn't sleep much that night. I woke at dawn to find Harry snoring softly and drooling a tiny bit on my belly, which he was using as a pillow. Right now he was completely defenseless, and that beautiful boy was all mine, for my eyes only.

Running my fingers through his hair, I considered what a little miracle it was that I had met him. I could have gone to another town, or he could have had a girlfriend. He might have been an asshole like Callum.

But instead I went to Holmes Chapel, and he was free, and he was Harry. And we were together. For one more day. Waking him gently, encouraging him to scoot up until we were face to face, I swore to make every minute of the day worth remembering.