Tangled Up Like Night and Day

Chapter 10: 'Til the Talking Stops

The silence felt heavy, even after our breathing had returned to normal, no one daring to speak. Finally, Hunter sat up, holding his head in his hands. "Okay, this can't happen again. This was a mistake, plain and simple."

Him calling it a mistake hurt, but I tried not to let it show. "A mistake? Usually you at least feel good enough to wait until the next morning to tell me I was a bad idea."

He rolled his eyes, turning an exasperated expression toward me. "Genevieve, I'm serious. We can't keep doing this."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "You keep saying that to me like it's all my fault. At the very least, this time it wasn't. You initiated this!"

"It takes two to tango! It's both of our faults!" He closed his eyes, trying to compose himself. "Look, I'm putting my foot down. This is no longer a thing."

"God, you're just the king of mixed signals now," This time I rolled my eyes. "Have you ever stopped to consider what the root of this might be? What keeps you wanting this? If we figure that out, we can figure out how to stop."

"Don't pull out your social work shit on me. I'm not a client," he retorted.

"It's a social work technique because it works, Hunter. Whatever, I'll go first," I took a deep breath, trying to choose my words carefully. "Personally, it's the best sex I've ever had. I've never felt like this when being with someone before."

He visibly cringed. "This is exactly why we just need to cut this off now before any more feelings come into it. This isn't healthy."

"What's unhealthy is that you won't talk about this with me like an adult! This doesn't need to be like this! You tell me everything, so why won't you just talk to me?" I was almost begging at this point, feeling a strange mixture of frustration and sadness at his inability to compromise. Was our friendship ruined already?

He sighed deeply, completely avoiding my gaze. "Gen, I know you have your fancy degree or whatever but that doesn't mean you know everything. This is more complicated."

I gaped at him for a second, surprised at his stubbornness. "When have I ever acted like I know everything? I'm just trying to communicate with you! I know it's complicated and that's why we need to talk!"

Suddenly, his anger seemed to dissipate, and instead he just seemed tired. "Please, just go. I can't do this right now. Just...get out of my room."

His voice was quiet, almost feeble. Somehow, it hurt so much more than when we were screaming at each other. At least then it felt like there was something to fight for. "Fine. Come find me when you're ready to fucking grow up."

I grabbed my clothes off the floor and left, not bothering to look back. I picked up my dress in the kitchen as I headed back to my room, angrily throwing all clothing at the closet as I shut my bedroom door behind me. I was upset, but couldn't cry for some reason. I just felt...hopeless, like there was nothing that could fix this. I dressed in some comfy pajamas and burrowed deep into my bed, wrapped in blankets in the hopes that I could fall asleep. How could I go to work the next day and just pretend everything was fine?

****

The next morning, I didn't try to hide from Hunter like after our previous fight. After all, I had left it up to him. He didn't so much as look at me as I moved about the house, getting ready for the day ahead. It hurt, but I tried to act as unaffected as he did, as if the silence wasn't slowly killing me inside.

When I got home that evening, I half expected to see him in the living room, ready to talk, but he wasn't. Instead, I could faintly hear music coming from the small studio he had in the house. Not having any other way to connect to my best friend, I approached the door, pressing my ear against it gently to hear better.

"Two different people, round and round again, we keep pretending around our friends. We're two different people. And you're mixing signals, mixing you and me and the truth between just like we're mixing drinks, you're mixing signals. All the talking is just talking til the talking stops and everybody leaves. They think you're going home but they don't know that you been coming home with me..." he sang, pausing intermittently to scribble some brief notes down.

It was a new song, one I had never heard him sing or even talk about. I knew he was singing about me, about us. It made my heart hurt even more. With a sigh, I stepped away, going back to hiding in my room, trying to find a way to distract myself. I flopped down onto the bed in a huff, staying still for just a moment until my phone rang. I was so grateful for the distraction that I didn't bother looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Hey, Gen. I'm surprised you picked up," Trevor's voice came through, causing me to jolt in surprise. "How've you been?"

"Uhhh better question: why are you calling me?" I asked, sounding more confused than angry. I wasn't sure how to feel.

"Listen, I made a mistake. Can we talk?" He seemed sincere, but it was harder to tell just by his voice.

I froze. Was I so desperate right now that just the idea of having a meaningful, adult conversation with somebody sounded so nice? Or maybe this would solve my issue with Hunter. If I took myself out of the current situation, maybe I could at least save our friendship. Besides, did I really deserve Hunter? Was Trevor the best I could get? "Sure, let's talk."

And just like that, I felt both better and worse.