Tangled Up Like Night and Day

Chapter 11: Chase Your Shadow

By the end of the week, Hunter and I still had not spoken. We had never gone so long without talking in the history of our friendship and it was killing me. I felt like a burden in his house and I wanted nothing more than to escape, somehow.

Trevor and I had talked several times throughout the week, where he had apologized profusely and begged for me back. He told me that his new girlfriend stole some of his money and then ditched him, and I almost felt bad for him. Deep down, though, I knew his apology was bullshit and that he was just lonely, but what other choice did I have? Where else could I go?

We finally had settled on me moving back in with him. I knew in my heart that it wasn't right, that it wasn't a good idea or even what I wanted, but I felt like I had to do it. It felt like my last hope of getting my best friend back, and that was more important to me than anything.

After work Friday, I started packing up my belongings again, though I hadn't unpacked too much since being there. I set all the boxes on my bed, almost robotically sorting everything into its appropriate box. I had left my bedroom door open without giving it a second thought. After all, if I could be in the same room as Hunter and not have him say a word, then why would he just drop by now?

As the closet was just about emptied, he appeared, knocking gently on the door frame. "Gen, I..." he paused, looking around the room. It was in varied stages of disarray, some spots clean and organized and others covered with clutter. His eyes lingered on the boxes, a confused look on his face. "What are you doing?"

We hadn't spoken in several days and that's all he had to say? Typical. "I'm leaving. I found a place to stay so I'll be out of your hair."

"Where are you going? Your mom's?" He asked, just a touch of sadness in his voice.

I sighed. I didn't know why I couldn't just come out and say it, but even now I was afraid he would be upset. "No. I'm staying somewhere else."

He eyed me suspiciously. "Where are you gonna be staying, Genevieve?"

"Trevor's," I replied timidly, barely above a whisper.

"No, you're not," he protested.

I rolled my eyes. "Hunter, it's my choice. You don't decide anything for me."

"For this, I am. You are not leaving if you're going back to him, do you hear me?" He folded his arms, as if he was a tough bouncer at some high end club.

I scoffed, glaring back at him. "What, are you my mom now? I'm not a teenager. You have no authority over me and I can come and go as I please. Besides, what's stopping me from lying and saying I was going to my mom's, but going to his place anyway? Nothing is stopping me."

"You know I can read you like a book. You lying wouldn't get you anywhere. Why are you even thinking about going back to him?" He wondered, looking back at me intently.

He'd spent the whole week acting like I didn't exist, so why did he care so much now? As much as I had craved to speak to him the whole time, this was not the conversation I wanted. I needed to leave. I picked up a box, trying to push past him to head out to my car, but he blocked my way. "Hunter, move."

"Answer my question, Genevieve. I already told you you're not leaving," he mentioned, voice almost sounding as if he was scolding.

I rolled my eyes again, trying to move quickly to the opposite side, but he stopped me again. "This is ridiculous." I set the box down, my car keys jingling in my pocket as I tried to weigh my options. I attempted to swerve around him, faking out that I was going one way before dodging the opposite, yet he still caught me. He moved to the doorway, bracing his hands and feet against the frame for extra leverage. Even as I mustered up all my strength, I couldn't push him out of the way. I knew I should have gone to the gym. "I told you to come find me when you could stop acting like a child, and this is not it. Move out of my way!"

"I did come to talk to you! But this is more important right now. I can't let you get hurt again," he stated, sounding like my friend for the moment. The last couple weeks had been fraught with tension and jealousy, but this sounded like normal, best friend Hunter. I almost felt hopeful, but couldn't bear to hang onto it.

I laughed, a bitterness sounding through it. "You can't let me get hurt? And what the hell do you think has been happening this entire time?"

He sighed. "Gen, please just talk to me."

"Oh that's rich," I laughed again, only growing more frustrated. "I am the only one who's been trying to communicate. Don't you dare try to put this back on me."

There was a pause, both of us almost sizing each other up. I was still thinking about ways I could get past him when he finally spoke again. "Well, I'm not moving."

I groaned in frustration. "You're unbelievable! You won't so much as look at me the entire week and then you have the gall to act like my best friend? What did you think would happen, hm? You treat me like a ghost and you expect me to just stick around and take that? Why would I stay in a place where I'm just someone's mistake?"

Before I could really stop them, tears began falling. I hadn't realized just how much his 'mistake' comment had hurt but now it seemed to burn. Still angry, I turned my back to him, hiding my face behind my hands as I tried to hold back sobs. I felt him approach me, wrapping his arms around me. I couldn't bring myself to break away, even now comforted by his embrace. "Gen, you are never the mistake. I'm so sorry I made you feel this way. You are the last person I ever want to hurt and I've only made things worse. But please know that even though things are really complicated, I haven't regretted us being together. Worried about what it might lead to, yes, but any moment with you has been...perfect. You could never be a regret of mine."

I turned to face him, trying to gauge his sincerity. I could see tears welling up in his own eyes, softening any remaining anger I had. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer into the hug. "The thought of not having you in my life anymore has been killing me. And it still feels like it's all my fault that things are this bad but I just felt like if I didn't have you, I had no other choice, y'know? That the best I deserved was Trevor," I hugged him a little tighter, almost unconsciously. "You're the most important person in my life, Hunter. I hate that things have gotten so messy. I just need you, always."

For a moment, we just stood there, holding each other tightly. All the broken pieces I had had since this started seemed to mend, if only briefly, and it felt refreshing to just have my best friend. "You're the most important person in my life, too. I'm sorry I've been such an asshole this week. I understand if you still want to go, but...I'd really like you to stay."

"I never wanted to go back to Trevor's," I admitted finally, breathing a sigh of relief. "You are the only person I want to be around when things are bad. You've always felt like home." I reluctantly moved away from the hug, but only just enough to be able to look at him. "Listen, I don't necessarily want things to go back to normal, but...for today can we just be best friends? And then we can figure things out more."

"I'd like that," he grinned.

I called Trevor and broke it off, for good this time, before rejoining Hunter in the living room. Seeing Hunter smile back at me for the first time in what felt like forever made me feel like everything was going to be okay again, and I never wanted that feeling to leave.