His Gummy Smile

Its About Who You Love

"So beautiful."

Beam standing in front of the cottage, looking to the beach line afar. His heart feeling lonely. He missed Forth so much. Worry and afraid for him, too.

All his friends are still in their respective rooms. It was a four hour drive from the apartment to the beach and everyone immediately went into their rooms when they arrived. Beam  refreshed himself for a moment then decided to come out. He wanted to take a walk on the beach.

"Beeammm ... "

A man ran towards Beam with a big smile on his face. He stood in front of Beam and stretched out his arms.

Beam's eyes widened at the boy. "Phi Joong?"

"Beam, it's been a while. How are you? You look charming and even more handsome."

"Phi Joong, what are you doing here?" asked Beam in surprise. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Come with me, Beam. It's been a long time since I saw you," Joong said as he guided Beam towards the beach. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Phi," Beam replied softly.

Joong tilted his head and looked at Beam. "Your face is gloomy and looks sad."

"Ehh that ...," Beam nervous. He took a deep breath and sat on the sand. "My lover is missing. It's been days without news. I'm so worried about him."

"Did you fight?"

"We argued before but we made up too. I thought, he might be tired of facing me who was always worried."

"He?"

"Yes. He's a nice guy and I love him very much. I fell in love the first time I saw him smile. It took us a while to realize each other's feelings, but I messed up because of my short thinking."

"What worries you?"

"Something happened and involved a girl who admitted to being pregnant after sleeping with my lover."

"Did your boylfriend really do it? Sleeping with the girl and getting her pregnant?"

"No, Phi. That girl is just making it up. She and my lover have been close before."

"Then, what is the problem for you?"

"I see how his family is very good. I worry about him. Being with me makes him lose the opportunity to live a normal life. I love him very much and want him to have a complete family."

"What does it mean?"

"Wife and kids. He's a good man and deserves the best too. I can't give him a child because I'm a boy too."

Joong laughed. He patted Beam's shoulder gently. "That doesn't make sense, Beam."

"Why, Phi?You say that, Phi?"

"Do you want to have a wife and children? Live a normal life like you said earlier?"

"For me, a normal life is with the people I love, whoever they are. I don't care about my wife or children. I can be with anyone, as long as we love each other."

"Then you must not force your thinking that your lover should lead a normal life according to your version."

"But, Phi ..."

"You want to hear my story?"

"Of course."

"I have a fiancé. We're getting married later this year. You were invited too. She is a very beautiful woman and we love each other. It took a long time to get her to marry me. Do you know why?"

Beam shook his head and looked at Joong.

"It's because she thought the same way you did before. She loved me and wanted me to live a normal life."

"But, you can do it together. You can have children because she is a woman and can give birth to your children," said Beam confused.

Joong smiled and shook his head. "No. She had an accident and had to have her uterus removed. She's a woman but she can't have children. Now, do you understand what I mean?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Phi."

"It's okay. I really love her and I don't care if she can give me a child or not, as long as I can be with her. We will adopt a child if we feel like doing it. So being with a woman doesn't necessarily mean you can have children or want children. It is a matter of whom your heart is anchored. "

Beam's eyes were watery. He realized the truth in what Joong said. "I'm so stupid. Forth must be disappointed because I doubted his love for me by always pushing him in the other direction. He must be very sad and thought I was the one who did not believe in our love."

"You have to believe in yourself, Beam. It doesn't matter who you are with, boy or girl, as long as you trust each other and believe in your love, anything can be resolved. About children, even though you can't get pregnant, you can try another way. If you want to have children, you can adopt a lot of abandoned children, even nowadays there are many procedures through IVF or surrogate mothers. You are a prospective doctor, surely you know better about that."

"Oh my God, I'm so petty. Now I'm losing him to my own fault."

Joong patted Beam on the shoulder and asked him to stand up. "Come on, let's go back. I made my second restaurant nearby and Phana trusted me to take care of your food while I was here. It's already late and I have to prepare to prepare your dinner."

Beam stood up and walked languidly following Joong back to the hotel. His heart felt heavy and sad. He really felt like a fool because of what he had done and said to Forth.

"Phi Beam," Souted Wayo from in front of lobby when Beam back to hotel. "Hurry, come with me. We have something urgent here."

Wayo dragged Beam in rushed. Bram muttered, feeling irritated from what Wayo do to him. Joong had been gone to his restorant.

"Hei, Nong, what happened?"

"Ssh, shut up, Phi, its critical. Just follow me."

Beam followed Wayo in confusion

*****