Speak

Its Time To Let Go!

Today feels different. As though I'm tied down deeper into the ground than I already was. I slept in late. Jett didn't bother waking me up. He is being in a pissy mood today.

Lady and Dexter are off looking for baby stuff. They found out its gonna be a girl. So yeah. They are so happy. I even squeeled with her. I almost felt so happy I was gonna explode. Until Jett busted through the doors giving me the coldest glare ever. And then stormed off.

Yeah the last couple of weeks were bad. I actually miss him. But I'm never gonna say so. When ever its time to go to sleep. He comes home late. Or just goes to bed late. And wakes up early to avoid me.

Today I am going to enjoy myself. Well more like visit my brothers tomb stone. After a long run. Which now that I mention it, why don't I go right now? I think I will.

Instead of getting dressed I put on a robe. So I don't really have to take anything off. I'm lazy today.

After slipping on my black silk robe I jog down the stairs and out the door. As soon as I'm sure I'm out of eyes site I slip off my robe and shift. As soon as I had a good time running with my robe in my mouth I stopped at the tomb stone.

Slipping the robe back on after I shift I slowly walk to his tomb stone. Kneeling right in front of it I devoid myself of any emotion. I planned on talking to him. Not cry or scream in outrage.

"Hey browski." I say and my voice breaks a little. That was my nick name for him. Taking a deep shaky breath I continue. "So its no surprise to inform you that I'm screwing up. " I smile through my unshed tears. "But I want you to know I miss you. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you when you died. I should have been there. I shouldn't have been furious with you for dying. That was so idiotic of me. And more selfish than I've ever been. But they're dead. All of them. Except for the really nice guy. But like I said he was nice. Although you don't know him. Now here comes the horrible news. They weren't our parents. I know this because on my 16th birthday at midnight. I shifted. Into a wolf. Rage blinded me. And-and I killed them. I remember the screams. The taste of their blood. Though you'd think I would wake up with joy. But no. I woke up and was terrified. I cried for an hour in the shower. I still cry. Blane....I'm a murderer." My voice cracked and I was on the verge of tears when I heard a snap of a twig. I turn around snarling And then I was shifting and running back to the house.

When I get there I don't even shirt because i left the robe there. So I bolted to the room and then shifted. But i took  shower before hand.

The hot water felt amazing on my tense muscles. After that I changed into a white tank top and some pajama pants. I was sitting on the bed trying to dry my hair with my towel when Jett comes barging in. Like a fucking maniac.

"What the fuck is your problem!?" I yelped.

"You've killed before?" Was all he asked. And I was taken a back by his question.

Taking a deep breath I chose to be honest." Yes." My jaw clenched ready for a fight. My wolf scraching to be let out.

"Why?" He asked his jaw clenched as well.

"I don't need to explane myself to you." I answer simply.

He growled. " I know you killed! I seen the house! And if you are living under my house you will tell me!"

"Yes I killed people! And I regret it but I had no choice! My wold took over! Remembering the names! The beatings! The hurt! The pain! And then I ran since I realized what I've done!" I scream in one breath. My wolf threatening to come out. Breathing getting heavy.

"Let go." He says calmly

"What?" I ask confused.

"Let go of your past. You can't move on unless you let go. " he almost pleaded.

"I can't. " I say with a tear falling down my face. He came closer and then grabbed my face looking into my eyes.

"Let go." He nods and I instantly felt calmer by his touch. He then put his forehead to mine."please?" He pleaded with his eyes closed.

My wolf wined at the look of his vulnerability. I so badly wanted to let go. I did oh I did.

Then let go. My wolf wined.

I then passed out. No warnings. Nothing. I just feel into darkness. I kept falling. And falling until I hit the ground. And I couldn't believe my eyes. I was at my old house. In my room.

What the actual fuck is going on?