Let's cry together

I'm a ticket

I have written two others chapter about my chaotic trainwreck of a mind. They might get realesed soon, if I can get that feel from reading them.

I miss you, everybody. I miss my childhood, I miss my life before I got diagnosed with all these diagnoses. Life changed, for the better? Somedays, but today it has changed for the worse. It's sad that you can have a diagnose throughout your whole life and get treated in way, that fits you and nobody asks question like "Is this because of your diagnose?" "You should work on eating infront of others, because your diagnose doesn't want you too." when it gets out there, people look at you differently. More intense and at the same time keeping their distance. Now every time you're sad, your sadness get confused with the diagnoses and people might take actions on a matter before telling you, cause they think, they know better than you: I mean you have a diagnose right? Oops you lost your credibility.

I once called a cop after a sexual assault and got asked, if I had any diagnoses (since the cop insisted, that the diagnose could be used against me in the case), I answered yes and listed my diagnoses, which he replied: "I don't think you will win the case, since the defender can say, that you have a low credibility, since you might be more sensitive due to your asperger." The classic 'words against words' case, however an easier one of the kind, since my words aren't worth as much as the other part.

I can't describe how sad and confused I felt, when the cop told me not to sue the guy. Or maybe I can; it felt like I was a free ticket to assault, like you can easily get away with it, cause my words are less valued than yours.

I don't want people to avoid getting aware if they got a diagnoses or not through professional help, but I will say, that it doesn't sound that helpful when it comes to the aftermath. We truly live in a society, which aren't made for anybody; but through fighting, we can make it for everybody.