Let's cry together

Why I shouldn't go to sleep

Hi guys, back at it again in my pink room, thinking about how life sucks sometimes. I once had a poster with a pig saying "Life is pink" as a metaphor on how great and joyful life is. Now I got a mirror and an eating disorder, that's something the Uno reverse card can't fix, trust me I have tried to show it at the hospital, and as response they asked me politely to pay for the medicine. I paid not only with money, but also with my tears, cause I knew, Cher had lied all along: You can't in matter of fact turn back time.

Do I think I'm funny? No, I just think, that people wouldn't be willing to listen, if I didn't put a punchline here and there. Furthermore, if I said how I felt without the references and slightly sarcastic tone, I would sound like a cave man basically: "I am sad" "Why?" "Sad". It isn't complicated, how I sometimes/often feel: sad. Also everytime I drop the references and lay down on the couch at the therapist, I seem to repeat myself/stutter, cause I haven't planned what to say. ~ Not that I would normally write a whole manuscript on how to speak in general, it's just whenever you're honest you must wait on your brain to create a whole sentence while it waits to get the green light from the other parts of my body. Honesty comes from the heart along with blood and electricity, so you got to wait on it to give its verdict before speaking. - And let me remind you, how pricy it is to go to the therapist, so I can't afford to waste time on my heart and brain having a management meeting.