Awsten's pov:
I woke up to Dallon's soft breathing.
Last night had gone much better than our first date, in fact I remembered everything very clearly.
We'd grabbed takeout after the movie and made our way back to my apartment where we'd watched reruns of Gravity Falls while playing 21 questions.
Eventually we'd stumbled into bed where we'd made out in the same way that lovesick kids might.
Dallon and I had flopped onto our backs, and he'd told me about his favorite songs and books and movies, and I'd told him about the bands that I liked, and my favorite breeds of dogs and where I'd grown up.
We'd kicked off our shoes and removed our shirts and just lied there for a while.
I'd fallen asleep on top of his chest, my arms resting on his stomach, rising and falling with his breaths.
It had been perfect.
"Good morning," Dallon's rough morning voice pulled me from my thoughts.
"Hey," I smiled, pushing myself up to kiss him gently. "How did you sleep?"
"Wonderfully," he responded, his eyes meeting mine. His hair was pulled in all different directions, it almost reminded me of-
I felt a wave of sadness wash over me as I thought of Otto.
I hid my face in my arms, "Dallon," I asked softly, my voice muffled. "Do you- uh, do you think it's okay to um be in love with two people at once?"
I didn't worry about him being jealous at the implications that the question held. Dallon wasn't like that.
"Hm," he thought for a moment. "I think that Mary Oliver said it better than I ever could. 'You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.'" He quoted. "You do not owe anyone anything," he told me. "I think that it is perfectly wonderful to love whatever and whoever that you do. I think that that's okay. But Awsten, Annelyse Gelman once wrote, 'I burned so long, so quiet, you must have wondered if I loved you back. I did, I did, I do.' Do you understand?" He asked.
I nodded.
"Dallon," I said, my voice wobbly with emotion. "I'm-" I forced out. "I'm sorry."
He pulled me into a hug, resting his chin on top of my head. "I know," he replied. It was as though we'd come to an unspoken understanding. Dallon knew he would always be my second choice. The heart wants what it wants.
I sniffled, my heart felt heavy in my chest.
"He's really lucky, you know?"
"Yeah," I said, letting out a little laugh. "Thank you, Dallon. Thank you for being the best first official boyfriend I've ever had. And thank you for being my first heartbreak, I'm honored that it was you."
He hugged me tighter, "Thank you for being honest with me," he said, pulling away from the hug. "Goodbye Awsten."
"Goodbye," I whispered.
He stood up, gathering his shirt and shoes before leaving.
I folded my arms across my chest, sitting there for a moment, enjoying the quiet of my empty apartment.
And as sad as I was, a part of me felt lighter.
Awsten: i know that you don't really like me anymore or at least i think that you don't but i really really like you a lot and i think that you should know that i'm letting myself love what i love and you're at the top of my list.
Otto: *1 pic attached*
I sucked in a breath as I clicked on the image.
It was a picture of an almost entirely blank piece of paper with the words My List written at the top.
Underneath that was the number 1 with the word Awsten written beside it.
Things were going to be okay.
