ego

8: Trust?

[Disclaimer: 18+ content near the end of this chapter, I'll have a mini warning just before it happens. That way, those who don't want to read it are aware when it happens]

Act II, Chapter Four

"We accept the love we think we deserve."' - Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

. . .

A Thriller, the movie made me jump a few times. Each time I did, Jimin chuckled. His hand let mine go, while mine remained lingering on his lap. It was awkward at first, both of us looking at the other. Then, he smiled knowingly at me and put his arm around my seat. I didn't know what to take from that. If it was for show, thinking Deities might be in the theatre watching, or if it was for his own being and pleasure.

I hoped it was the latter as I sunk into his side, lifting the theatre seat's armrest away from separating our bodies. I tried not revisiting the emotions I felt, shivering from his fingers on my shoulders as my head leaned into his neck.

We didn't look at each other when close. I jumped in his arms, and he laughed into my hair. There was a moment I felt lips at the top of my hair, I couldn't figure out if he kissed my head or not. Possibly playing it up for an audience I didn't see? Whatever it was, I prayed he stopped. He and his lips weakened my gut, making me think thoughts I didn't want to envision.

When the movie ended and credits graced the screen, Jimin's hand squeezed my shoulder. He pulled my attention to his eyes in the dark. Eyed me up and down, checking out every ounce of my t-shirt and how he hugged my body, to the way my knees caved into his side. It was impossible to read him. Did he feel anything when this close to me? Was this easy and boring for him? What's going on inside his head?

I blushed and thanked the darkness of the theatre when Jimin's lips inched close to mine. He contemplated it, asking me for permission with his gaze. I pursed my lips, pulling away. I kissed his cheek, then his jaw. Slowly inching down to his neck in a hope that a slow kiss just below his ear would suffice for a good enough show.

As I pulled back from his fresh scent, feeling the warmth of his neck, I caught his eyes. He no longer looked at me, chest fluttering at a stronger speed. In awe, my mouth almost opened at the obvious effect I had on the man physically. Almost as if I dreamt it, a second later he was back. Bored and sure of himself, in control. He kissed my cheek, then my jaw, and inched towards my ear where he breathed.

"There's one in the second row up from the screen. Don't look."

I didn't, either consumed by his lips full and bright on the curve of my collarbone. Hand on Jimin's jeans, I pinched the fabric lightly with my fingers, pushing down any hint of moan that begged to surface.

It was a surprise when I didn't break first. He did. My pinky nudged the surface of his jeans I dared too close to. Jimin's breath hitched, the trail of his lips stopping to look at me in the dark.

"Too much?"

I nodded. My hand back to my lap and eyes averted forward. My heart hammered in my chest and I prayed the credit music drowned it out.

Jimin kissed my cheek and shielded me from any eyes that may be watching us. He held the outer end of my thigh, moving his fingers up and down. It was a way to comfort me. I noticed he did the same to my back when I woke up in his arms after he misspoke and I cried the day of the first tulip.

"A few minutes more." Jimin smiled. It was one I wasn't familiar with, one of genuine kindness and...concern for me? "We're going to dinner next and when we do, there's more guarantee we'll lose them. More security, yeah?"