Barely Holding On (M.C.)

Chapter 4

So quick update since I write the best at 11 at night.

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I ran. I ran as hard as I could. I didn't even know where I was running. The only thing I could hear was my feet on the ground and the wind whipping passed my ears. Do I regret running? Not really.

I ended up outside of the school, just sitting on the football field bleachers. No one ever comes out here during the afternoon, so the field is just empty. It was peaceful. A big change from the noisy halls and classrooms. I felt calm for once.

I untied my flannel from my waist and shrugged it onto my shoulders. I'm starting to think that Michael is just humiliating me, and I don't doubt it. He seems like the guy to do it.

My eyes scanned the empty field, picking out the little details. The way the turf was beat up and the paint was fading. This couldn't hurt anymore. Why should I be upset that my crush wants to be friends with me? If anything I should be jumping for joy and clinging to his side. But I guess it's not really who I am.

I started to hum "Ignorance" by Paramore, but it quickly turned into me singing at the top of my lungs. The field is pretty far from the school so I figured no one would hear me.

"Well you treat me just like another stranger! Well it's nice to meet you sir I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out."

I stepped down from the bleachers as I sang and started to walk the length of the field.

"Ignorance is your new best friend, ignorance is your new best friend!"

"And this is the best thing that could've happened!" My heart raced as I sang. The song isn't really helping but I don't care. Singing to me is like screaming. Especially if your listening to Metal or Screamo.

"And you treat me-"

"Julia!" Michael's voice made me stop in my tracks and I turned to see him running across the field towards me. I turned my back to him and ran as fast as I could.

I used to play softball, so I can run pretty quickly, but Michael currently plays baseball so he's extremely fast. But I had to make an attempt to get away from him.

I lowered my head and just ran. I felt my hair fall out the bun and soon enough my hair was whipping across my face as I ran.

Sadly, I could hear Michael coming up behind me so I just stopped in my tracks.

"Shit!" I heard him yell as he ran into my back, us both falling into the grass. We tumbled a little and he landed ontop of me with an "oof."

"Get off!" I screamed. "Get off get off get off!" He stared at me, shocked that I was screaming at him like this. I finally found the strength to push him off of me and I scrambled to my feet. "Why did you come after me? To embarrass me?" I starred him down as he slowly stood up.

"I-I wanted to see if you were okay." He stuttered.

"Of course I'm okay! I was fucking fine until you chased me across the football field and decided to run into my back!" Michael blushed as I yelled at him. Honestly, I think he was more embarrassed than I was. "Why can't you leave me alone?"

"Because I've heard girls talk shit and you're one of the girls in school I don't hate so I wanted to help you."

"Oh I'm so honored to be one of the girls Michael doesn't hate. I don't need your help, Clifford." I turned away from him and started to walk away but he roughly gripped my forearm and yanked me towards him. "Get the fuck off of me."

"You need help and you and I both know it. Please let me help." He looked at me sincerely, but I couldn't give in.

"You can't help something that a therapist can't even fix." I put on a wicked smile in hopes he would leave but he just gripped my arm tighter. "Michael I'm a waste of space. Don't even try."