Random One-Shots

St Patricks Day

It was March 17th, just another day of the week. I got dressed, looked in the mirror and saw that my face was completely green! Letting out a very loud almost girlish scream I run out of the bathroom. Looking at my cat who is frazzled, probably from the loud scream I just let out of my mouth. Not wasting another second, I run outside of my front door, looking at the surprised neighbor I run back into my apartment.

Staring at my green face in the mirror, I start touching it.

"What is happening?"

Looking back at my fingers I notice something peculiar happing to my fingertips. Taking a closer look for inspection I notice a small dot on my fingertip, it's green. "HUH?!". Realizing what is happening I turn on my faucet, letting my, now turning green, fingers run under the water. Noticing it's not doing anything I grab a scrubber from beside the sink and start to scrub on my now green fingers. Knowing it's no use I drop the scrubber in defeat. "What am I going to do now?". Slumping down in by the sink I look at my fingers in sadness. Thinking long and hard I realize I have someone who might help.

Taking the hood of my hoodie I pull on the top, making sure no one can see my face. Taking a mask from my bedside table I put on the monstrosity of a mask. Looking at the left-over gloves from the office I take two large sizes out of the box. Putting them on my now green hands. Nodding to myself that I'm finally ready for the world I try walking out of my apartment door. Feeling something rub on my leg I look down at my cat, giving me a cat version of puppy dog eyes. "No Saya. We're not going for a walk. I have to get going. Daddy's green, it's social suicide even going outside. Come on.... don't give me that look...No! You are not coming with me and that's final. Stay here and look over the apartment." Giving my cat a stern look I open the door and walk outside. Making sure her tail wasn't in the way I closed the door.

"Now where would that old hoot be at this time.... it's so hard to find those women these days. For all, I know she could be in Egypt getting lollypops. The crazy woman she is." Walking down the street I look left, then right, forward, then behind me. Knowing for sure no one is watching me I take an abrupt left, turning into the alleyway. Seeing a big tent, I smile wide "Thank goodness she is here and not in Paro or something". Walking up to the tent I take the edges of the so-called door and open up the tent, revealing a half-drunk lady passed out on a desk in the middle of the tent. "EH?!". Me making a loud noise apparently awoke the drunk lady out of her slumber. "WHO GOES THERE?!"

"So, what happened again?" The crazy lady starts to scratch the top of her head with one finger. "Well you see I woke up this morning-" "Uh-huh" "-got dressed and looked into the mirror-" "Go on" Looking at the drunken lady with a glare I continue on "And my face is completely green"......we both say nothing, looking at each other- "Did you say something?" Slamming my face on the desk mumbling about how hopeless this is she taps my shoulder. "So, from what you told me is that you woke up this morning, looked into the mirror, and you were suddenly green?" "Yes! Exactly! Can you help m-"I got nothing. You're hopeless. Forever green. Better get used to it" ....... blinking my eyes back to her I slam my head on the desk again. "NOOOOOOOOOOO- "

"Well, there might be one thing." "What is it?" "There is this certain place where if you go there in a time of need you could see a vision, that vision will help you go back on the right path on solving that certain problem. Though it comes at a great price". Looking back at the drunk lady I reach over and hug her weirdly, knocking over things on her desk in the process. "Thank you, thank you, thank-"Don't you want to know what the price is?" Interrupting my happiness, I stop bouncing in my seat and sit back down. Now having a face of worry. "What is the price? I'll do anything but knowing you, you might want a limb or something. I really like my body parts, ya know?" "I actually have no idea what the price is. I've never tried it before. Something bad could happen. Anything could go wrong. But it might just be the answer your looking for." "I think ill be okay. I really don't want to be green forever." Moving my sleeves, I notice the green is running up my arms very slowly. "I have to do this" "Alright. If you insist"

"I'm sorry, what do I have to do now?" "Jump into the cauldron while I chant a spell to make sure we both get teleported into the realm". Blinking up at her I look down at the cauldron 'what if this lady really is crazy and she is just trying to eat me.'. "IM NOT READY TO DI- "JUST GET INTO THE CAULDRON!". Now scared of the lady I jump into the cauldron. "Wait this is kind of comfort- ". "SHUT UP!" Shutting my mouth, I watch her dance around, chanting the words "Green, Four leaf clover, Rainbow, A pot of gold, March, leprechaun, lucky, Irish, shamrock, and magic. These words of St. Patrick's Day I call upon you. Help this young boy!".

I feel like I'm falling. The wind whipping next to me, my ears ringing to the beat of the wind coursing through my veins. Wait. I am falling. Opening my eyes, I notice I'm falling very quickly to a pile of grass. Falling to my death. Letting out a probably more girly scream than manly I close my eyes. Waiting for my death. Instead of splatting on the grass, I hear a loud CRUNCH. Opening my eyes, I notice black. "I'm dead aren't I...." Moving around I realize.... this isn't death.... it's leaves. I fell on leaves. Getting out of the giant pile of leaf's I see the crazy lady brushing off nonsexist leaves on her dress. "Sorry about that. The only thing I could think of was autumn. I'm glad you didn't die. Now to get the vision you need to sit in that circle of dark green. It's next to the hill". Not wanting to get the lady mad at me again I walk over to the hill. Noticing a small cycle of slightly darker grass I sit down in the circle. Crisscross applause.

"Good. Now close your eyes. It will help you concentrate." Looking up at the lady in wonder I tilt my head and close my eyes. "Now just breathe. In then out. 10 times. Now go on. I don't have all day, Mister". Slowly breathing in I breathe out. Repeating the steps, I breathe in then out 10 times. "Nothing happened- ". It hit me like a truck. Some type of force hit my whole body all at once. I'm falling again. No, I'm not falling. I don't feel anything. All my senses are gone. I can't smell, touch, the pain is gone, and I feel nothing, everything is black. Staying there felt like hours while it probably was only a few moments. Suddenly all I saw was green. Is that a four-leaf clover? Feeling the pain once again I woke up coughing.

"Hey! Kid! Are you okay!? Hey! Don't die on me now!". Controlling my throat who is apparently having a heart attack. Well more like a lung attack. I plop down on the grass. "What in the name of all things holy just happened?".

"There is no such thing as a real four-leaved clover, silly" She laughed as she stood up. As I leaned back onto the grassy hill and watched her walk away, I noticed something move next to my elbow. "Saya?! What are you doing here, missy?!" Picking up my small but adorable cat into my arms I notice something in her mouth. A four-leaved clover! "WAIT LADY! I FOUND ONE!". "Huh? What did you just say?". I see something flash before my eyes. Is she running right towards me?! I see my life flash before my eyes but there was just no longer something in my hands. "Did you just steal my cat?! Hey! Be gentle with her crazy lady!" "Crazy lady?! Put a sock in it! I've never seen an actual four-leaved clover.... vie been looking for years now. How did this measly cat even find one?" "I don't know but give me back my cat crazy!". The crazy lady takes the clover out of her mouth and sets her back in my safe arms. Petting her gently on her back I look back up at her. "So. Do you think it's real?" "I have no idea. How do you even begin to understand if it's real or not?" Taking the clover out of her hand I start to look at the clover. I look at it like I look at mac and cheese, with intensity and hunger.

Feeling my shorts vibrate I accidentally drop the clover. Both the crazy lady and Saya run to grab it. Not paying attention to their weird actions I take the buzzing phone out of my pocket. "Who even is it? The only want whoever calls me is my own mom." Pressing the green phone button on my phone before even looking at the caller id I put it to my ear. "Hey mom, I'm kind of busy right now. Can we talk la- "Mom? Sir, I have no idea who you think this is, but I just wanted to report you have won the lottery. Please call- "Not even looking at the phone I press the end call button. "It works alright" Looking back up I see my cat and the crazy lady having a fight with who gets to have the clover. "You guys are hopeless"

"I'm sorry. I have to what now?" "Eat it." ...." HUH?! You're not actually asking me to eat a fourth clover, right?" "It's the only thing that might work. Now eat the clover." Looking back up from the non-appetizing clover I see both my own cat and the crazy lady giving me a stern look. "Okay! Okay! I'll eat it" Looking back down to the clover I make a face of disgust. "Bon apatite I guess"

Hope you enjoyed it! This is supposed to give you a feeling of "what did I just read". Thought I would let you know! This was 1797 words :)