His Only Angel [h.s.]

Chapter 32

Thea Parker

Numb.

That's how I feel.

Ever since Harry told me everything that had to do with Carter and why he treated me the way he did really got me questioning everything.

I didn't know whether to trust anybody around here, including Harry. My heart wanted to believe that he did all this to protect me from Carter but really it seemed like I needed to be protected from him. Sighing I throw my head back on the pillow in frustration and confusion. I have spent most of my time in a guest room somewhere in the East wing, not being able to even be near Harry at this point. Although I will give him some credit since almost every day he's been trying to convince me to come out and talk to him but every time I refused.

I just couldn't do it.

You don't lie to the person you love in order to keep them safe, instead you be honest with them and try to come up with a way to fix the problem together. Harry obviously didn't even consider that so he took matters into his own hands and look where that got him. As for the boys I haven't seen them in weeks and didn't plan on it. Turns out they knew about everything yet none of them told me anything so I have lost all my trust for them. I least expected Louis to tell me something since I was closest to him but he decided to go along with everything. Their betrayal hurt me the most but what can you expect? They are a fucking mafia after all and lying is apart of their lifestyle. My body felt so tense and warm probably because I haven't really been active or moving around a lot. I just couldn't bring myself to feel anything but...Emptiness.

"Darling?" I hear a voice come from the other side of the door.

Here we go again.

"Please go away Harry."

"No, not until you talk to me."

"We're talking right now." He scoffs.

"I want to talk face to face."

Rolling my eyes I pull the cover over my body and lay down.

"Look," He starts, "I know things have been crazy between us but...I love you and that will never change. You can be mad at me forever if you want to and I wouldn't care because I totally deserve it but this distance is killing me baby." His voice cracks at the end.

One part of me wanted to let him in so we could talk but the other part was still envious and conflicted. I've given him so many chances and each time he's blew it so I didn't know what the hell to do at the point.

"Thea." He sighs.

I start to tear up at his emotional state.

"I-I can't Harry."

"Yes you can, all you have to do is open the door."

"No. It's not that simple."

"I know but...Fuck!" He yells in frustration.

"You hurt me Harry and I don't think I can ever forgive you for that."

It gets quiet for a few moments until he speaks once again.

"I understand-

He starts but I was quick to cut him off.

"No I don't think you do. This whole dating thing is about inclusion. It's about leaning on your partner when things get complicated. But I don't think you know how to do that." My voice raises slightly.

"You're right, I have made so many mistakes in my life that I couldn't fix with a simply apology. At one point I couldn't even recognize myself anymore, all I saw was a darker version of me. And then I realized the only way to stop being that person was to come home and own up to the things I have done. And yeah, it was painful. And it took a really long time, but it was the only way to become someone else, someone better than who I was." I shrug at his words.

"So why did you do this to me?"

"Because I couldn't risk losing you or live with that fact that your parents would die if I haven't came to a compromise. The decision I made, you couldn't have made that sacrifice but me I couldn't have lived with myself if I hadn't," He pauses, "I will always make the decision I made."

At this I sit up and look at the door.

"I'm not going to pretend that I've been through anything you have. But one thing I learned these past few months is that these situations we seem to always find ourselves in, they don't break us. They make us who we are."

I hear him take a shaky breath.

"I'm not like you Thea. I can't be the perfect guy you want but if that is what it takes for you to put your trust back in me then I'm all for it."

"I don't want you to be perfect, Harry. No one in the world is and neither am I, we're both fucked up. All I want from you is to stop with the secrecy and lies because they are getting you nowhere."

"You're right, you are my equal. We should be in this shit together but instead we're shattered into pieces. But I promise you that all that will change if...You give me another chance."

Closing my eyes tightly I take in a deep breath.

"Okay." I say.

"What?"

"I'll give you another chance but I swear to God Harry if you pull this shit once more time then I'm walking out the fucking door." Suddenly I hear the sound of the door knob jiggling and then came in Harry.

"Baby!" He pulls me into a tight hug.

"What- I thought the door was locked?" I ask confused.

"Oh it was but then I remembered I own ever inch of this bitch and had a spare key on me." The cocky bastard smirks.

"Then why didn't you come in earlier?"

"Because I wanted to see how this would all play out."

"And how do you like the outcome?"

"It's pretty damn good." I laugh.

"Well you better enjoy it while you can because I haven't completely forgiven you. You'll have to prove yourself first." He nods.

"I will! From now on there will be no secrets between us, only honesty and commitment."

I get up from the bed and head towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Harry asks.

"To shower."

"Alright, I'll wait for you here."

"Okay." When I was about to leave  he spoke up again.

"You won't regret this." I turn back around to face him.

"I'll hold you to that."

//

I'm so sorry it took so long for a update as I was busy working on my other story but I promise it won't take long next time.

I love you all! 💖

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