The Past Is In The Past(Jolivia)

Chapter 72

-February 2020-
-A week after last chapter-

Josh's POV:

It's hard enough knowing Liv is hurt. It's worse than I have to see those beautiful brown eyes broken by me. I kept on beating myself up for it. For the past 3 weeks, I haven't been able to take my mind off her.

The last time we spoke, she ran off crying. Well, I guess we argued and not talked.

I can't wait for her to tell me what she wants, but if she won't do something about all this, I will. I was the one who messed up. Why would she have to fix it?

"Guys, in position!" The director yelled. I took a deep breath and changed into my character. "Action!

"Ricky, you're going to make this long distance thing look easy." She held my hands. I missed her talking to me. I almost break and start crying, telling her how sorry I was for being stupid and for that fight, but I didn't. The realization that I had been staring at her hit me.

"I'm going to FaceTime you every morning." I quoted, trying my hardest not to cry. I guess it kind of helped the scene. It felt full of emotion.

I hugged her. I wanted to hold her in my arms for a lifetime, but in a blink, we pulled away.

"Cut!" The director smiled. "That take was perfect, you guys are good to go!" She smiled at us. I felt the need to ask Liv how she was holding up, so impulsively, I did.

"Liv." I quietly called after her. She stopped walking and turned to me. "I.... I- um..." I stuttered; After seeing her that broken, everything flew out of me. I was speechless.

"Do you need anything?" She asked me, carefully reading my lifeless facial expression. YES! I DID NEED SOMETHING! I needed her in my arms! I needed her warmth on me! I needed her! "So...?" She asked me, interrupting my thoughts.

"Uh, I just- I just wanted to ask you if you wanted more time to think." I gulped.

"Oh, that. Right." She mumbled. "I might need more time." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Okay." I nodded. I watched her turn around and walk away. Why!? She's the only thing I ever wished for. Why can't I just have her?!

Olivia's POV:

I was ready to talk to him... or whatever I was supposed to do. I had to shoot more scenes, so I figured after those, I would do that.

"Liv!" Frankie stopped me, catching his breath. "So, are you and Josh good now?" He asked anxiously. He's been asking that for the past 3 weeks.

"I'm going to talk to him later. I've had my time to think and I've made up my mind." I replied, fiddling with my fingers.

"I'm just reminding you, Jolivia is endgame and it will never break." He claimed. "So you guys better work your problems out." He added, with his common sass. While he walked away, I heard him mumble something about some readers waiting for Josh and me to get back together, but I couldn't quite hear the rest. Weird....

Readers? What in the frick frack snick snack is that supposed to mean? (yes, I stole that from @Unknown-Genius 😌✋)

- · · · -

"Hey Larry, have you seen Josh?" I asked him. We were in the lunchroom; Everyone was here except him.

"He's filming, I'm pretty sure." Larry answered. I thanked him and walked quickly to set B, where I figured he was. When I reached there I saw him filming a scene. I looked at him act, he had a gift.

I cried so much these past 3 weeks, I finally feel free, in a way. Like, I don't care as much that Alyssa and Josh were a thing or not. I don't know if that's good or bad.

"Alright Josh, you're free to go!" The director clapped. He nodded, and walked to the exit where I was anxiously waiting.

"Hey." He pursed his lips when he saw me. 

"So, umm, about the- umm, the, uh-" I stammered.

"The break?" He raised his eyebrows. "Liv, if you don't want to talk about it now, I get it." He shrugged.

"No, it's just... I had my time to think." I answered.

"Oh... Cool?" He replied, uncertain of what to say. "Did you choose something, or....?" He asked, breaking the silence. He was showing so many emotions, it was hard to read each one.

"Yeah, we're, like, unpausing our relationship, if that's a thing..." I mumbled the last part. He looked, sort of, offended? or shocked? I wasn't sure.

"So, just like that, we're back?" He asked, puzzled.

"Yeah." I nodded my head. This is way too awkward. "Maybe time we'll get us back to the way we were?" 

Josh's POV:

I guess she took the next move...

"Liv, if you aren't ready for this to keep going I understand that." I put forth. Saying that hurt like when you burn your finger on the stove, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. "I'll wait as long as you need to."  

"No, we're good." She smiled. Why does this feel so... forced and false?

"Okay." I tried to comprehend all of it.

"So... are you going to lunch now?" She asked me.

"Yeah, that was my last scene." I informed her.

"We can walk together?" She offered. I nodded, having second thoughts about holding her hand.

She's your girlfriend, for goodness sake!

But, this was really awkward.

I wish this could go back to normal.

Well, it can't go back to normal, just stop saying that!

It was like the angel and devil on my shoulder were fighting, but they were in my head.

"You know, I, uh, I already ate, so I'm, uh, going to go to my dressing room." She forced a grin. 

"Oh, okay." I bent down to peck her lips. She smiled and turned around. I watched her walk away. Something about that didn't fully convince me. 

This was not how I thought this would go. Not at all.

I needed to find a way to fix this, and it had to be now.