Lessons: Becoming the Green Arrow

Episode 2 tag - Misfit (Felicity's POV)

Episode 2 tag - Misfit (Felicity's POV) 

AN - The first several tags are more of character study pieces but bonus scenes will be included in later ones!  

DISCLAIMER - Again, I must admit that no infringement is intended as I play without any legal right to do so! :)

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Felicity was still working to trace the hacker while she waited for the guys to return. Oliver had needed to meet with Detective Dave Ellet as the Green Arrow and Diggle and Roy would remain with him, just hidden in the shadows. Felicity had sent the SCPD the edited surveillance and traffic camera videos - she didn't want them to see Diggle trailing the arms buyer. The IT portion remained her strongest contribution to Team Arrow, however, Felicity wanted to become more, become better. 

The battles Team Arrow fought weren't things she instinctively understood as Oliver, John, and even Roy did. Despite her time with them, she hadn't learned Oliver ninja skills which meant he could still sneak up on her. She hadn't learned Diggle's strategic evaluation of threats which meant he had to make an extra effort to explain strategic details to her. She hadn't even picked up Roy's street savvy skills which meant she was learning from their newest teammate too. They were the soldiers, the fighters...even Sara, Nyssa, and their assassins lived in that world. A world Felicity still didn't understand and wasn't sure she ever would understand. 

She had seen violence and death, her own life had been threatened, and she had helped treat Oliver's injuries more times than she could count, but it still felt like she was an outsider at times. She was the misfit, just as she always had been in her mom's house. 

Which one of these things are not like the others...Felicity heard the children's rhyme in her head even as she heard Diggle's report that they were heading back. 

Felicity knew the problem lay with her - not the Team. Oliver was the first one to call her his partner and he and Diggle always listened to her opinion and treated her well. Even though Roy teased her, he still respected her and had never doubted her place on the Team either. 

Sighing, Felicity realized she didn't doubt her place either, but she did sometimes doubt whether she was the right fit. She doubted whether or not she had learned enough or could learn enough to really be part of Oliver's world, the Team Arrow world. 

She still privately practiced the hand-to-hand combat techniques Sara had shown her previously, but she couldn't seem to get better. Yoga, she could do, but punching and kicking just weren't her things. Felicity knew she should just take Roy or Diggle up on their offer to train her, but she just couldn't bring herself to do that yet. She refused to wonder why Oliver still never offered to train her. 

Felicity knew the Team was working on cross-training though so she knew her time was coming. She had even agreed to teach Roy a few IT tricks and grant him access to some of her programs. She forced him to sign on with his own passcode though so she could protect her babies and more easily fix any of his mistakes. 

Felicity sighed at her own wayward thoughts. Bad guys to catch, focus, Felicity reminded herself as she worked on her computer. IT was her natural world and Felicity moved easily in it which allowed her thoughts to wonder yet again just moments later. 

When she had first joined the Team, IT was all they needed from her, but Felicity knew the Team had changed since then. They had all personally changed since then and they were all continuing change. It wasn't enough to commit to being on the Team, she also had to commit to their goals, to doing her part, to learning more. Felicity was committed, but she didn't always believe she could do it. As she grimaced at her own her self-doubts, Felicity tried to bury her feelings of confusion and focus on her work. 

She had fallen in love with computers because they made sense to her, they reacted logically not emotionally - she understood them. Technology was a world she could control and she found comfort in that world even now. Before joining Team Arrow, the only fighting or battle action Felicity had ever seen was when she played online games. Unlike the guys, she wasn't familiar or comfortable in that world. Even after her years with Oliver and John, she still wasn't sure she completely understood the rules or if she was the best partner for her Team. 

Felicity saw the bad guys like a computer virus - a really good computer virus. The virus was a complicated equation that could easily destroy existing software, open holes in security, and basically crash the whole system if you didn't pay attention, adapt, and fight. Felicity didn't want to be the reason Team Arrow crashed so she knew she needed to change and adapt as they faced new challenges. 

She had already stepped outside her comfort zone when she first agreed to help Oliver and John find Walter. She made the choice to stay after that and she thought she had a good grasp on the situation...but then everything changed. There was the Undertaking, Lian Yu, even Sara, William Tockman, Slade Wilson...everything kept changing. 

Each time she thought she understood how the virus worked and had defeated it, but the virus kept shifting, mutating and she was again lost in the chaos and struggling to find her place, her way. She had never dealt well with uncertainly and hated feeling like she was at the mercy of others. 

Felicity had lived with uncertainty her entire childhood - she had been at the mercy of a mother who was constantly on the lookout for the man/ meal ticket and had taught her daughter to do the same. A mother who hadn't believed her daughter could be more than a cocktail waitress on the Strip. Felicity had been the misfit then too and had never been comfortable with her family or her Mom's friends. She knew she had only found a family when she had joined Team Arrow and while she might still be the misfit the guys didn't seem to mind. They appreciated and supported her and that was more than her Mom had ever done. 

With that thought, Felicity felt her doubts recede. She then remembered that she hadn't let her mom stop her from doing what she wanted - she had succeeded without her love and support. Now Felicity had the love and support of Team Arrow, she had Oliver. She also had so much more to fight for than just herself, more even than her Team as they had a whole city to protect and rebuild. Felicity realized that she wasn't going to let the criminals win as she belonged to Team Arrow and she wasn't going anywhere. 

Oliver was changing, Team Arrow was changing, Felicity knew she needed to change too. There was still a lot she needed to learn and she would continue to learn. Being a genius had to help with the learning curve, right? Felicity thought to herself as she grinned - she could do this!