Awakened

XIII

"What did Bay say to you to get you to trust her again?" I asked, willing to stall for as long as possible.

"Shut up," she said walking towards me quickly before roughly strapping the neck cuff around me and securing it shut. 

"You all hate me because I broke the Five, right? You know that was all Bay's idea."

She glared at me silently, the fire in my eyes letting me know my words were taking root. 

"Edward will kill you all. You're fighting the wrong enemy."

"SHUT UP!" she screamed, pressing a button on the cuff to silence me from saying anything else. I closed my eyes, biting my cheeks so hard I could taste the sweet, bitter flavor of my own blood pooling in my mouth. Don't scream I told myself as I felt my neck get hotter and hotter with each passing second. It felt as if hot lava was flowing down the back of my neck as I could feel the heat start to travel down my body quickly. 

"You...know....I'm...right," I forced through clenched teeth, staring defiantly at her as my body pooled with sweat.

Scowling, she grabbed my jaw pushing me back further so the back of my neck pressed harder against the collar, causing my eyes to water up as the burning pain became almost unbearable. 

"That all you got?" I breathed out, visibly shaking as my body started to lose control. I tried to reach deep inside of me, looking for a trace of magic, anything to help me but I couldn't feel anything. I could still feel the block, keeping me from accessing my magic. 

"I thought we'd start of easy, but if you insist," she said, shrugging before walking out of the room. That was easy? I gulped hard, searching the room for anything to help me. My body's shaking grew more violent as I felt my fear trickling into my mind and turning into full blown anxiety on what was to come. Giving up, I looked down at the ground. It was no use, I couldn't access my magic. I had to find another way. But, before I could form a thought, Sarav came strolling back in with a large hammer in hand.

Cursing under my breath, I maintained eye contact with her. I wouldn't let her break me, no matter what she threw at me.

"That all you got?" I asked, forcing a smirk through the searing pain of the scalding neck cuff burning my neck to a crisp. 

Not wasting another second, she swung her arm back before bringing the hammer down on my left thigh causing my bone to snap under the pressure. I yelled out in pain as I tried and failed to clutch my leg, temporarily forgetting my chains. My pooled tears began to flow as I looked at my broken thigh as well as my crushed knee. The combination of the neck cuff and my destroyed leg made it no longer possible for me to hold in the pain. I stared at her, murder in my eyes as my breathing became ragged and the pain intensified. I could feel my vision become blurry as my body was weakening. 

Noticing me fluttering between consciousness and unconsciousness, she pressed the button on the neck cuff, causing the pain to stop before making it clear of her intentions with a "I'm not done with you yet." 

"Caesar, it's your turn now," she yelled out cheerily. 

"Done already?" I mocked, able to find my tongue now that the pain on my neck had lessened. I could feel my body becoming more weary with each passing second.

"Let's see what you have to say after you wake up," a male voice I placed as Caesar's hissed from behind me.

I felt my mouth flood with liquid as Caesar shoved a thick fluid in my mouth and forced my mouth shut with his hands. I struggled against his grip to spit it out, knowing whatever this was I did not want it in my mouth. But, there was too much liquid and nowhere to spit it out. I felt a drop trickle down my throat and that was all it took before I was sucked into my next form of torture. 

I found myself in the classroom Zion would bring me to. I smiled as I recognized the set up. Blood red blanket. Food buffet. Candles of every color on the spectrum. On cue, I saw myself zip into the room, hand in hand with Zion. 

"You did all this for me?" I heard myself ask, beaming up at him.

I watched his cheeks flush as he ran his fingers through his curls carelessly.

If this was Caesar's idea of torture, I would gladly relive this memory a thousand times over. 

I watched myself grab him by the shirt, pulling him into me as I became consumed in a passionate kiss. On cue, the candles began to go out one by one. Wait. I don't remember this happening. A feeling of dread began to sink into me as I watched myself pull away from the kiss, eyes blood red as she smiled evilly at my mate. Before I could stop her, I watched her shove her hand into his chest and pull his heart out and toss it on the ground as he stared at her, mouth agape and eyes full of heart before crumping on the ground to her feet. 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed, rushing forward to grab his bodies but as soon as I reached him, my hands went through his body like air as he disappeared along with the memory leaving me in complete darkness clutching at air. 

"Killer."

"Killer."

"You killed your mate."

"STOP!" I screamed at the whispers, clutching my head begging it to stop as my body racked with sobs haunted by the memory of killing my own mate. This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real. I repeated that same phrase over and over and over again until I heard the whispers subside once again leaving me in complete silence and darkness. 

I felt the darkness fade away once again, just as quickly as it had come bringing me to a room full of bright white, with me in the hospital bed lying peacefully. When was this? Suddenly, my eyes shot up and I watched myself fly across the room and down a blood bag. I looked to the left, seeing Zion before jumping into his arms in embrace.

I watched him cup my face in his hands before planting a quick kiss on my lips. We once again kissed, getting caught up in the moment as our lips moved against one another in perfect unison. 

"I've missed you," he heard him say whilst kissing me down my neck. 

Suddenly, the bright hospital room began to dim and I caught on to what was going to happen again. I ran towards them, attempting to pull myself away from Zion. But, it was no use. Once again, my hands ran through as if nothing was there. I watched in horror, helpless as I knew what came next.

"I didn't miss you," the mirror of me replied coldly before yanking his head clean off his body. Once again, his beautiful face fell to the ground, lifeless as I watched myself stand over his body, smiling.

I felt my heart break all over again as I fell to my knees looking into his eyes, knowing it was my fault. The memory faded, once again leaving me in darkness. My face wet with tears and my heart torn to pieces, I screamed, "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? YOU GOT ME. PLEASE. PLEASE. MAKE IT STOP. I'LL DO ANYTHING."

I could feel myself breaking, giving in. But, I didn't care. I couldn't handle to watch myself kill him one more time while I stood there helpless, unable to stop it. It was too much to bear. It felt as if my heart was being torn out of my chest and trampled over with each and every memory. 

I watched the darkness fade again, taking me to another memory with Zion where I kill him at the end. Then, it happened again. And again. And again. It was never ending. I could feel myself breaking, losing my will with each and every memory. Losing myself as well. I was trapped in this endless cycle of killing my mate and there was nothing I could do about it.