Focus

Chapter 1

I use the rails as an escape. My house isn't the serenest of places, there's always noise; a buzz in your ear like a fly is right next to you but no matter how hard hard you try, you can't swat it away. My house makes me feel as if I'm trapped. Dogs yapping at your feet constantly, parents who can't leave you alone for five minutes without calling you for absolutely no importance and brothers who repeatedly grunt at you to turn your music off, to no avail I might add. In my house, there is no privacy, not even in your own room which is supposedly "your own space." Everything is audible. I hate it.
Which is why escape that mere implication in my life by riding on the trains. It's relaxing, watching the world go by with the privacy of your headphones and a good book. The rails are the only thing that can keep me calm nowadays. I'm anxious most of the time and can get nervous too easily to be healthy. It's not just exams and important events, but things like when I'm going to have a shower and whether the new girl will knock me off the hockey team. My train rides are important to me, they are the only part of me that feels free. The only freedom I have.

I don't particularly have a set route.  I usually grt the 4:57 and take it to the end of the line, change at Barnham that takes me up to East Croydon and ride the line back. That's my train. I love my train. The doors are faulty in last carriage due to communication malfunctions and don't always close. I enjoy the breeze and the noise... Which is strange because I hate loud places. The rhythm of the train keeps a  beat. You're not really meant to ride in the last carriage... it's sort of strictly out of bounds. The death warnings and tape are meant to scare off anybody who stumbles across it, and quite successfully too! So no ticket master ever checks the final compartment. However, I feel that the world should know that it will take far more than a bit of plastic stretched across a doorframe to keep me out of trouble. I have a specific taste for the unknown and am constantly finding myself in the midst of some sort of argument. From prison breakouts to senior school drama, you can bet Great Grandma Liz's life that I'll be involved.

•••

How Henry VIII's Failed Marriages Affected The Way In Which He Ruled. ~ an assay on the Reformation of the English church and the causes, effects and consequences of the change to the church.

It is safe to say that I profoundly hate History. Our teacher, Mr Barrett is great and all, I just don't understand why we need to know about people who haven't really done much to earn their fame. No, just think about that for a second. Take any person that you have ever learnt about in a history class, whether it be Queen Victoria or Adolf Hitler. Think. What did they actually do? They lived, changed the way we live today drastically and died. Alright, Vicky may have been the longest ruling monarch in Britain and Hitler may have started a world war that killed millions upon millions of innocent people and destroyed the remains of the survivor's lives as they knew it but what the hell has that got to do with the problems I face today? How will this essay on the English Reformation change my life for the better? Unless I'm aspiring to become a pitiful historian who has no life whatsoever, I don't class this as being a worthwhile pass time. I need a break.

The train doors haven't closed properly again and today I'm glad for it, I need some air. Moving to the opening in the doorway, I stick my head out into the air and tilt it back, enjoying the feeling of refreshment. Whipping my hair back with a snap, the wind claws at me and I laugh with giddyness. How it feels to be free! Finally away from the hubub of school hallways and homework stress. I move back to the lone seat and table in the single carriage that I have claimed my own. Gazing out of the window at the musky sunset, I plug an earphone in and hit shuffle. I sit back in my seat and inhale deeply. These are the moments I live for; no cares or worries. Just my moment. I continue to gaze out of the window at the landscape though I don't really take in the full beauty of my surroundings until I focus my sight on the haze that is the sunset. Dusk is a powerful thing, it transfixes me, hypnotising. So much so I barely hear the announcement.