Things I Think About

Fading From Memory

I just realized I don't remember his favorite color.

I can't tell you his favorite song or movie anymore.

Sometimes I forget his last name, his middle name is a foggy memory. I think it's lynn? But I'm not sure.

When did I stop holding these things in my thoughts?

When did I forget his birthday? I think it's in September?

I know he had a lip piercing, but I couldn't tell you what side it was on. Did he have his ears pierced? I can't recall.

What an exciting thing. To slowly realize the man who abused me is fading from my memory.

What I thought would be forever burned into my heart, now just a faded scar that I'm not sure how I got.

It gives me hope that maybe someday I won't remember how guilty he made me feel. How grateful I felt that someone could love a wreck of a person like me.

I remember he prefers long hair, because when I left I cut it all off. I remember he was transphobic, because I was scared to be myself.

Maybe someday I'll forget even those.

Maybe someday I won't even remember him.