Things I Think About

Mental Health

I'm not on here a lot. I'll get on, write a bunch, then disappear for a few months. Most of the time this is due to mental health.

I'm getting help, I'm in therapy, I'm on medications, but I think the most healing thing for me is writing about these experiences.

Mostly it's things from my actual life seeping into the fanfictions I've written. Not fully truthful things like in this story. As a way to cope with it though my fanfictions also have tons that doesn't relate to me at all because I get scared of people knowing exactly what I've gone through.

I've struggled a lot with keeping myself writing, because it's much easier to convince myself that no one actually cares and no one wants to read it. But my fanfics have amassed a following and it makes it so much harder to pretend it's not enjoyable to at least some people.

I also have a problem with things needing to be uncomfortable or I won't want to keep working on them.

I've also recently had my medications stop working so I don't want this mental state to influence my writing as much. I think I'm getting better but I'm still unsure.

I also struggle a lot to focus on stories, especially only one at a time. Even as a write this my mind is in other places.

I'm very anxious about posting this, so I don't know if I even will or not to be honest. If you're reading this then obviously I bit the bullet and shared it. The only reason I'm even writing this is hoping someone else out there who is feeling the same way will see it and feel comforted that they're not alone.

It's okay to not have your life together, it's okay to need help.