The Secret Gays of College Algebra

3. Graphing Quadratics- (Matrise)

I walk into class feeling giddy. It was barely 10 am and I already was dizzy from the butterflies in my stomach. When I get to my seat, Jacob is already there. He hands me a medium shark attack rebel from dutch bros.

"How the fuck do you know my coffee order?" I ask, accepting the drink.

"I have my ways," Jacob answers, tucking his hair behind his ear.

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"I stalked your Twitter," Jacob admits. "On November 21st of 2020, you tweeted "I'd literally attack for a shark attack rebel rn"

I sigh. That's wildly embarrassing.

a) that I tweeted that

b) that Jacob read it. I mean what else did he read? I pull out my phone and hold down the power button to activate Siri. "Siri, remind me to go through my tweets later."

"No, I liked your tweets!" Jacob argues.

I smile. "Okay. For you, sexy." I say and delete the reminder. I pet Jacob's soft brown hair. "I'm so excited for our picnic later." GOD HIS HAIR IS SO SOFT. I wonder what he uses in it. I imagine my running my fingers through it and my stomach does a flip. I let my hand slide down his neck and chest and then force myself to walk to my seat.

We get our worksheet for the day. It appears we are graphing quadratics. I put down my pencil. I'm too fucking excited for my date with Jacob after this. I need to pretend to look busy for now though. I can't make it obvious that I'm going out with Jacob. Sorry, he picked me and none of you losers.

I copy Brant's work in between daydreams about Jacob. I put my AirPods in and start to make a playlist for Jacob. Every lesbian knows making a playlist is one of the most romantic and caring things you can do. Especially for a first date, I want Jacob to feel loved. I open Apple Music and get to work. Within 45 minutes, I have the perfect playlist.

I smile and turn my phone off. I can't wait for him to listen to it.

* ABOUT 30 MINS LATER AT LUNCH*

I follow Jacob out to his car and climb in the passenger seat. I texted Jacob last night to see if he could drive and maybe get some food. I felt bad for putting all the work on him. But my car is in the shop right now. Luckily, he was really understanding.

"I got us a charcuterie board and some Sprite for lunch." He says.

"Aw, Jacob, that sounds amazing." I say. "I brought my craft box, so we can make friendship bracelts and my blueberry puffbar. Because, ya know, the frienship bracelt stuff is blue so it matched the aestetic."

"Mmmmmmm I love blueberry!" Jacob exclaims.

"Yeah, you seemed like a blueberry kinda guy." I replied.

He smiles at me and says "You already know me so well, I'm amazed. I was thinking we could just go to Main Park and eat in the grass."

"Okay!" I say. Jacob starts up the car and starts driving.

When we get there, Jacob grabs the food and a blue picnic blanket. We walk for a few minutes and then set up under a large oak tree. Birds chirp in the distance. The charcuterie board is beautiful. It has a variety of crackers, meat, cheese, and even fruit.

"Pepperjack is my favorite," Jacob says.

"Yeah that's good, but have you tried mozzarella?" I ask.

Jacob giggles. "Yes, I've had mozzarella you silly goose."

"Well, I love pizza, so naturally, mozzarella is my favorite," I explain

"Well," Jacob says "I guess mozzarella is my new favorite, then" He kisses my nose and my face turns the color of the strawberries.

"Oh!" I gasp, "I almost forgot! I made you a playlist." I say, reaching for my phone.

"Already? On our first date?" Jacob smirks.

"Well, duh, Jacob." I hit play on my phone and "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)" by Big & Rich starts playing. And then to calm my nerves, I hit my puff bar and then shove a slice of salami into my mouth.

It's been a long morning, so we chow down on the charcuterie board quickly.

"Wanna try something?" I ask.

"Like what..." Jacob asks.

"Here," I say and scoot 3 big schooches away from him. "Open your mouth and get ready to catch this." I toss a grape at him and he catches it on the first try. "PRETTY AND TALENTED????" I exclaim "You really are the best of both worlds." This time, Jacob turns the color of the strawberries. "Okay, now this," I say. I take a swig of my Sprite and spit it out in a long stream towards him. Astonishingly, Jacob catches most of it and swallows. I sit there with my mouth wide open. "How.." I ask.

"It's my hidden talent," Jacob says, shrugging. I have to hit my puff bar again in order to calm my nerves. Jacob hits it after me and I wonder if it's for a similar reason. "Now teach me your bracelet craft," he says.

So under the shade of the oak tree, Jacob and I make each other blue friendship bracelets, symbolizing the bright blue sky above us on our very first date.