She's My Strength

8. Heart To Heart

Ariel POV

It's been 2 weeks since Bea sent those flowers and note, I text her saying thank you and that I need time to process everything which was true but also I need time to deal with my own stuff, last week I had two appointments, one was seeing a disorder specialist and the other was seeing a consultant about getting a construction done on my breasts, yes you heard right, I've decided to go ahead with getting breasts back.

The question is will I be able to feel anything once it's healed? If I find my true love will I be able to feel her doing stuff to them or will I never feel anything and they are just there for show, time will tell, they told me it's called something else rather than breast construction, they said there's different types and having implants put in is called breast augmentation.

It makes sense because they aren't taking them away they are adding, they said I wouldn't be able to breast feed ever but I knew that anyways. My first session with the disorder specialist was yesterday and it went really well, I've had a few hiccups where I've done it but Fallon has been there to help me, hold my hair and hug me afterwards while I cry for being so weak.

They have prescribed me antidepressants just like Zoey said she could do but I said I would leave it to the disorder specialist because they knew more, so now I'm on antidepressants which have been helping but I've only been on them for a week, they put me on them when they saw me the first time and said they wanted to see how I was doing with them at our first session.

They said my next session next week they are going to do a eating plan for me that fits around healthier eating so I don't feel the need to make myself sick because I would just eat crap and then make myself sick, so let's hope it works. They said some specialists try hypnotherapy but she said she would leave it up to me if I want to try it.

I've read up about it and it can help change people's habits so I might give it a go I'm not sure. I'm sat in the park, holding Justice while she looks around at everyone and everything and she is babbling on and pointing at all the different dogs running around playing. I see a young Dalmatian dog running up to us and I see a little girl running behind it and I see it's Maddy.

Maddy – Nixie! Bad girl! You don't run from me.

She looks up and smiles so big.

Maddy – Ariel!!

Ariel – Hi sweetie!

Bea comes running behind and stops dead and gives me a shy smile but then looks at Maddy unimpressed.

Bea – What have I told you about running off missy?!

Maddy – But Nixie ran off.

Bea – So?

Maddy – I'm sorry mummy.

Bea – Thank you monkey but you need to remember to never run off, if Nixie runs off yes it will be horrible but I'm sure we will find her, remember we got that chip put in her, they can easily find her then, okay?

Maddy – Okay mummy.

Bea looks at me and smiles.

Bea – Hi.

Ariel – Hey.

Bea – We should probably head on, my mum and dad are picking Maddy up shortly, it was good seeing you.

Ariel – You too!

Maddy – Bye Ariel!

Ariel – Bye sweetie.